Mishpacha
by cameron-sarah
Summary: Ziva thought Tali died in the bombing as a child, but when a wild, angry and broken young woman shows up on American soil many years later, could she be the sister Ziva thought was lost? And can Ziva reconnect with her sister after so much distance has been put between them?
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Firstly, I just want to say that I am no expert about what is going on in the middle east at the moment, and this while this fic does expresses views from one perspective, it is only the one that fits into my story, and is no reflection on my views or opinions on this conflict. I certain do not know enough about it to judge, and I have only used vague details that relate to my fic and the story I wish to tell.

Secondly, this is set somewhere in season eight, I thing. Certainly before the horror that is season ten's latest episode.

Thirdly, I did change the ages of Tali and Ziva to fit in with my fic. At the time of the explosion, Tali was only six and Ziva was fifteen.

* * *

She thought that Tali had died in that explosion. She had lived her life thinking that her younger sister was watching over her from above. But then, Ziva could help but blame herself in some way. She was supposed to go with Tali to the shops that day, but her father had sent her to train with Ari instead. But sometimes she thinks that it's not her fault, and that deep down that's when the rift between her and her father had started. But instead she tries to be perfect daughter; make up for all that he lost in Tali, though he never even seemed to acknowledge her efforts.

Her definition of family warped that day. Family wasn't a happy thing, it was simply an obligation. Something that simply had to be satisfied.

So when directions the file crosses their desks, with the photo of the girl inside, Ziva is stunned and confused.

"They found her smuggled on a cargo ship, in a routine inspection. She's been transfer to the Warwick Mercy Hospital, in intensive care." Gibbs reads, but Ziva is already halfway to the elevator.

**‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›**

She stands outside the hospital room, gazing through the window at the small girl lying against the crisp white sheets. There is a tube down her nose and wires snaking their way around her body. Even fifteen years later, Ziva knows it's her. The olive skin, her wavy hair currently in tangles around her head.

"Found trapped in storage on a cargo ship. Currently a Jane Doe." The nurse surprises Ziva, who had been lost in her own memories.

"She's not a Jane Doe. Her name is Tali. Tali David." Ziva's voice cracks and she has to bite her lower lip to stop it quivering.

**‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›**

Ziva sits quietly by the bed, studying the girl lying before her. But Tali is no longer a girl. She's a young woman now, and Ziva can see that she is beautiful. But the small hand in hers is too skinny, Ziva can feel the bones through Tali's thin skin. Her cheeks are hollowed too, and the hospital gown hangs loosely from her shoulders.

Ziva suppresses a sob, pressing Tali's hand to her cheek and kissing her palm.

How was she alive? There had been witnesses who had seen her at the shop where the Hamas bomb had gone off. And while the bomb had left no trace of bodies to be identified, there had been no doubt that Tali had been there. Until now. How had she gotten out? And where has she been all these years? Why hadn't she come back to them? It was clear to Ziva that Tali's life hadn't been an easy one. She could see a few scars marring the skin that wasn't covered by the gown. Her hair was matted, her fingernails torn to the quick.

Underneath the sorrow, anger begins to boil, directed at whoever had done this to her baby sister. She would find out who it was, and she would make them pay.

She lays her head against Tali's arm, closing her eyes against the tears.

**‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›**

"How is she doing?" Gibbs asks softly, glancing into the room where Tali is still lying, unconscious.

Ziva shrugs, hugging herself tightly. "The nurses don't seem concerned. They say she should wake up soon."

He nods, noticing the bags under Ziva's own eyes. "She will be alright, Ziva. She's clearly a strong girl."

"I know, I just don't understand." Ziva shakes her head, reaching up to push a few stray hairs off her face. "Where has she been this whole time? How did we not know she was alive?" He can hear the exasperation in her voice.

"We're working on it. We'll find out what happened." He pauses. "Vance tried to contact your father. He's travelling, but said he would try and get here."

Ziva barely even blinks. It doesn't surprise her that her father has better things to do than visit his daughter who has, in essence, just returned from the grave.

"Let me know if there is anything I can do, okay?" He reaches out, giving her shoulder a squeeze. Ziva flashes him a weak smile. It is only fitting that he is here, while her father is off dealing with things he deems more important than his own daughters. Instead, Gibbs is here, the closest thing she's ever had to a true father figure, offering whatever support he can, when in all honesty he owes her nothing. It's her that owes him everything.

"Thank you, Gibbs." She murmurs, before returning her eyes to her sister.

**‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›**

Ziva strokes Tali's hair softy, trying to keep the images of what might have happened to her sister from her mind. But Ziva had been through some of the worst life has to offer, and she can only hope that Tali has seen nothing of the sort.

A gentle flutter of eyelashes caught Ziva's attention. "Tali?" She breathes, clutching at her sister's hand.

Tali's blinks furiously, eyes trying to adjust to the bright hospital lights. Suddenly the girl comes alive, jerking her hand out of Ziva's and frantically starting to pull at the tubes connected to her body.

"Tali! Tali, it's okay." Ziva jumps to her feet, reaching out, trying to calm the girl. "It's me. It's Ziva. You're okay."

Tali's head whips around, fury flashing in her eyes. "Get away from me." She hisses in Arabic, the harshness of her words making Ziva take a step back.

"Tali." Ziva begs, trying again to reach out, but Tali shrinks away. "It's okay. You're safe here."

"Stay away from me." Tali screeches again in Arabic, hands moving instinctively for a weapon that isn't there. Instead she tries to pull the IV from her hand, as nurses coming running into the room. She screams at them too, and Ziva backs out of the way, heart breaking as they pin down her sister, jabbing a needle into her arm.

**‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›**

Tali sits stoically in the interrogation room, eyes focused on the wall. She is cuffed to the underside of the table, as she has been for the past two hours, since she was being discharged from the hospital. The authorities are unsure what to do with her. It's clear she is the daughter of Mossad Director David. But who she is now is unclear. After all, she was caught trying to sneak into the country.

Ziva watches from the other side of the glass as Gibbs enters the room, though Tali's gaze never moves to acknowledge him.

"Tali David." He states, taking the seat opposite her. "Would you like a drink-"

"Take these off me." She demands, thrusting her cuffed wrists towards him and until the chain snaps taut. Ziva is surprised to hear her speak English so easily, with no distinctive, heavy accent.

Gibbs shakes his head calmly. "Oh, I don't think so."

"I need to pray. You would deny me my right to practice my religion?" Tali snaps, clearly already angry.

Ziva is shocked to hear her sister imply she is a Muslim. Tali had been raised a Jew, along with the rest of her family. Ziva wonders what could have happened to change that.

"Where have you been?" She whispers, pressing a hand against the cool glass.

Gibbs isn't fazed by the young woman's aggression. "No, I just need you to answer a few questions first."

"I will answer no questions." She turns her head away from Gibbs in defiance, exerting what little control she has.

"What were you doing trying to smuggle yourself in on that ship? What is your reason for coming here?" She simply ignores him, head still angled away.

"Did you come here to see your family, to see Ziva?"

"I have no family here." She growls, jaw clenched in anger.

The words break Ziva's heart. All these years she had believed her sister was dead. But here she is, alive. But she was a girl Ziva didn't recognise, a woman she couldn't understand. Tali had always been the best of them - joyful and so full of life. She bore no resemblance to the bitter, hateful young woman before her now. Ziva can only hope that the sister she remembers hasn't been lost forever.

**‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›**

"It was a mistake!" Tali maintains, still refusing to give them any scrap of information.

"There is no way a person's in here for eight hours and gives us nothing, Boss." Tony states from the observation room. "She's got to be trained." He almost doesn't want to say it. This is Ziva's sister after all.

"I know." Gibbs replies, not taking his focus off the two in the interrogation room.

"It was a 'mistake' you ended up on a cargo ship destined for a US Navy port? That is a lie! What were you doing there?" Ziva slams her fists on the table, the sound echoing in the small room.

"Just tell me, Tali. I beg you." She pleads in Hebrew, trying to connect with the girl.

"Don't speak that filth at me." She snarls in Arabic, pushing to her feet, the cuffs digging into her wrists. "You, your kind and your allies will burn at our mercy. You will be cleansed and Allah will thank us for our devotion."

Ziva's jaw drops, staring up at the girl, a thousand thoughts running through her head, as she feels the panic rise in her chest, her throat clenching tightly. "You.." She stammers. "You're Hamas?"

Behind the glass, Tony's hand flies to his mouth, a 'holy shit' escaping his lips.

"Tony," Gibbs doesn't act surprised. "Go and tell Vance what we've got. He will have to decide what to do with her."

"But, Boss, she's Ziva's sister."

"Go." His voice leaves no room for argument, and Tony reluctantly slips from the room.

* * *

Okay, please, please review if you have read this, because why write if you don't know what people this, right? So please be kind and let me know what you thought, bit you did or didn't like. It's appreciated so much more than you know!

PS: I KNOW this chapter is really choppy and the scenes are really short, but I just needed to set the start up, and I really didn't know any other way to do it. Please stick with it, okay. It gets better.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I would just like to say a MASSIVE thank you to everyone who reviewed the first chapter or PMed me about this fic. I was more excited than you know, and it really encouraged me to get this chapter up as quick as I could. So, if you like this chapter (or don't, either way) let me know! I'm working really hard on it, so any feedback is so much appreciated. Thanks, and happy reading!

* * *

"We have a Hamas terrorist sitting in Interrogation?" Vance gestures to the TV screen, where a feed of Tali plays.

They were all in Vance's office, save for Ziva, who is waiting none-too patiently at her desk.

"We don't know she's a terrorist." Shrugs Gibbs. "And we can't tie her to Hamas just yet."

"Except that she's been spouting Hamas ravings every time you try to talk to her. The FBI is looking into tying her to any terrorist incidents. If they find anything, it's out of our hands, she'll be taken to Gitmo to be detained."

"What will happen to her then?" McGee's worry plays openly on his face.

Vance's eerie pause makes the colour drain from the youngest agent's face. "I can't say."

McGee glances to Gibbs, looking for any kind of support. "Aren't you getting a bit ahead of yourself, Director? This girl was obviously kidnapped from the David family. Surely an effort will be made to reunite her?"

"Director David has shown little interest in her return." Their director states frankly, pursing his lips.

"What about Ziva?" Tony interjects. "Ziva is her family."

Gibbs nods. "And she sure as hell doesn't want her shipped off to Gitmo."

Vance raises his hands defensively, trying to calm the roaring emotions in the room. He may be the boss, but that doesn't mean he's always in charge. It was clear the team cared deeply for their team mate and Vance wished not to be the person in their sights. "Legally, she's an adult, so there is no forcible obligation to return her to any parentally figure. But of course, everything will be done to try and keep her close. At least until we know more about the situation."

The team are far from satisfied, but they seem calmer knowing they won't yet be fighting this internally.

"You still have to figure this out." Vance warns, pulling out a chair and taking his seat now that the confrontation is over. "Find out for yourselves where she's been all these years. Don't trust the FBI to give her the benefit of the doubt."

The two younger agents nod, moving to leave the room. Gibbs hangs back a moment, sharing a glance with Vance. It's an unspoken 'thanks' for giving them the green light to work on this and a second later, he follows the younger agents from the room.

‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›

"McGee, get everything you can about the bombing in Israel where she was supposedly killed. I want to know everyone who was there, civilian or otherwise. Find out what they know about who organised and carried out the attack. Tony, go through all Hamas related incidents. Find out if there are any reports of someone who fits Tali's description. We have to know if she has been involved in anything major."

"On it, Boss." Both agents headed to their desks as they entered the bull pen, Gibbs noticing that neither could look in Ziva's direction. They had no news yet, and couldn't face their friend.

Ziva flies to her feet as they pass, searching their faces for any clues. "Gibbs, what is-"

He cuts her off with a wave of his hand, motioning for her to follow him. She steps out from behind her desk, hurrying to catch up with his longer strides.

"What's going on, Gibbs?" She imagines the worst, Tali being sent back to whatever place she appeared from. She couldn't imagine losing Tali now, after just getting her back.

"Ziva, you can't investigate this. Leave it up to DiNozzo and McGee. They can handle it. You, go be with your sister. Watch her, talk to her. I don't care. See if you can't get her to talk to you about this. We need to know everything Ziva, or things won't look good for her. She needs to help herself now." He gives her shoulder a squeeze. He hates seeing her so torn, between her loyalty to NCIS and her loyalty to her sister. Hope hopes that it won't come down to her having to make a choice. She's already had to make that choice once, with Ari. Gibbs isn't sure NCIS will win out a second time.

‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›

When Ziva slips into the viewing room, she is surprised to find Abby there, watching Tali. Abby turns when she hears the door and Ziva moves to stand beside her, staying silent for a minute, watching the young woman on her knees, performing prayers. Her hands are still cuffed in front of her, but no longer fastened to the table, her hair falls around her shoulders as she moves, almost gracefully.

"So," Abby whispers quietly, hesitant to break the silence. "That's Tali. That's your sister."

Ziva lets out a long sigh, tired of keeping on a brave face in front of the rest of her team. "She _was_ my sister." Ziva shakes her head, leaning against the window, though she keeps one eye on Tali. "I don't know who she is anymore. How can a person change so much?" As soon as the words are out of her mouth, she regrets them. She knows all too well the reasons a person can completely change who they are. Either by choice, necessity, or by force. Ziva dreads to find out the cause behind any of those reasons.

"But, Ziva. You raised her." Ziva doesn't usually talk about her past, but once she had opened up to Abby about her childhood, about the all too brief years she had spent with Tali. "That has got to mean something to her, even now. She must remember those years?"

Ziva worries at her bottom lip, no longer trying to hide her anxiety. "I don't know, Abby. There are certain… techniques that can persuade a person's mind to forget certain details, to remember things differently, or accept lies as truth." She dares not mention such techniques to Abby. The woman still has a certain innocence about her that Ziva admires, and Ziva doesn't want to be the one to put such horrid images in her head.

"You don't think…" Abby can't bring herself to even finish the sentence, and Ziva is instantly glad she didn't elaborate.

Ziva shakes her head. "I don't know." She murmurs again, letting her eyes fall shut. She herself knows too well the effectiveness of such techniques, and she was at least into early adulthood when she had first experienced them. She dreads to think that Tali had been far from that lucky.

‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›

_Their mother had taken Ziva and Ari away for a short while, unable to live any longer with what Eli did for a living. But then she had found out that she was pregnant again. It was hard enough for a single mother in Israel back then, but pregnant with another? So she had returned to Eli, to ensure little unborn Tali's safety. _

_But when Tali was two, their mother had died. Ari acted like he didn't care, because she had not been his mother. But Ziva could see that on some level he had cared, and mourned her death. _

_Tali, being so young, had not understood. And Eli was never known for his parenting skills, so Ziva had stepped in to take care of the toddler. She held her while she cried for their mother to return, and she had defended Tali when Ari got sick of the constant wailing and tried to hit her. _

"_Get her to shut up." Ari hisses, storming into the room. He'd gone out simply to get away from the noise, yet when he returned, she was still going and he was on his last nerve. _

"_Ari, she doesn't understand. She's still just a baby." Eleven year old Ziva tries to make him understand, stepping between him and the girl in the crib. "She misses Ima." Ziva pauses, eyes falling to the floor. "Don't you?" _

_He clenches his jaw, fists balling at his sides. "I'm fine." He growls through his teeth, annoyed that Ziva would even suggest such a weakness. "You don't see me carrying on, making everyone else want to kill themselves." Ziva gasps at his harsh words. "I'll make her understand." He moves forward, but Ziva is there, blocking him. His face goes red with anger, and he shoves her aside. Ziva yelps as she stumbles sideways, reaching out to stop herself crashing into the dresser. At thirteen, Ari is nearly twice as strong as her, but she quickly spins around, throwing herself at him and pushing him away from Tali. _

"_Don't hurt her!" Ziva yells, standing defiantly in front of the crib, puffing out her chest. Ari turns around slowly, glaring at her with fury in his eyes. Ziva wants to shrink back – she doesn't want to get into a fight with Ari, but she won't let Tali be the object of his anger. For a long moment, they simply stand glaring at each other, before with a huff, Ari stomps out of the room. _

_Ziva turns to Tali, who is standing at the side of her crib, little hands clinging to the bars. Miraculously, she is silent, for the first time in days and Ziva sags down against the crib, resting her head against it. She feels something tug gently at her hair, and Ziva lifts her head, seeing a worried looking Tali staring up at her, a hand wrapped around one of Ziva's curls. _

"_It's alright, Tali. I'm okay." She leans over, kissing the girl on the top of her head. _

‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›

Ziva opens the door to interrogation with a soft click, but she sees Tali tense regardless, her body coiling in preparation for a fight. Ziva recognises aspects of a life on training, of a life constantly threatened in its very existence.

Tali doesn't say anything, just stands rigid in the corner, hands still cuffed tightly in front of her body. Ziva doesn't speak either, but moves to sit at the table, never taking her eyes off Tali. The young woman tries to keep her composure, her front of defiance, but when Ziva watches carefully she can see Tali's eyes shift nervously, her muscles quiver ever so slightly.

"Tali." Ziva whispers, so quietly, she wonders if the girl would have even heard her, but by the small shift in her posture, Ziva knows she has.

Suddenly, Tali lunges forward, but Ziva doesn't flinch in her seat and for that, Tali spits at her, before stalking around the room, a flood of vile, hateful words spilling from her mouth in Arabic. Her movements remind Ziva of a trapped animal, confused and looking for a way home. But right now, Tali is lost, recognises the wrong place as home, and as much as Ziva wants to let her be free, she knows Tali will bolt in the wrong direction, probably never to be seen again. And she won't let that happen. Can't let that happen.

‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›

_Eventually, Tali's crying passes. Ziva suspects the girl forgets what she was crying for, as she begins to forget who their mother was._

_As Tali gets older, Ari's anger also passes, and he returns to the older brother that Ziva herself had known growing up._

_Once Tali outgrows her crib, she never gets a bed of her own. There isn't room in the house for another. Ari had already claimed his room long before Tali had even been born, and the small room that had been Tali's nursery wasn't nearly large enough for a full sized bed, so the girl's share, ever since Tali graduates her crib. Ziva hadn't minded sharing with her sister. There was something comforting about having another warm body next to hers._

_Tali's warm breath comes rhythmically against her chest as the girl sleeps, curled up against Ziva despite the heat of the day not yet having dissipated. One of Tali's curls lightly tickles Ziva's cheek, but she refused to move in case she disturbs the younger girl. Instead she embraces the feeling, knowing that Tali is sleeping safely beside her, that she can protect her against the world._

‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›

Tony meets her in the hallway when she finally leaves Tali. The girl is still stalking the room, and Ziva thinks it's better to let her cool off than to push her too far too quickly.

"Ziva, I'm sorry." Tony murmurs, and when she studies his face, she knows something is wrong.

"Tony, what is it?" She asks hesitantly, despite her better judgement, but he doesn't get a chance to answer. Behind him, an agent and two officers appear around the corner, escorted by Gibbs and McGee and Ziva doesn't have to be told who they are, who they are here for.

Panic rushes through her, making every hair stand on end, making her body tingle and her skin burn. "No! No!" She tries to push forward, but Tony grabs her, holding her back as the FBI agent pauses.

"She belongs to the FBI." His voice is cold, and it instantly sends a shiver down her spine.

Ziva looks to Gibbs, eyes pleading with him to do something, anything.

"There is nothing we can do, Ziva. They have a warrant."

"They can't take her. They can't." She protests, but the agent is already opening the door, motioning for the officers to fetch her.

"She is coming with us. She'll be taken to Gitmo to be processed, and then the FBI will decide what to do with her."

The two guards emerge, leading Tali roughly by the arms. Ziva surges forward, but Tony is still there, strongly keeping her back.

"Let her go!" Ziva screeches and Tony's can't help the guilt that floods through him as he holds her back. He knows it's for the best, even if it hurts him to do it. Ziva getting into a fight now will only cause more trouble in the long run. "You can't take her. Tali. Tali!" She tries to twist away from Tony, but his body is blocking her way.

The Tali refuses to make eye contact with Ziva, but as the officers roughly jerk her away, her head lifts for a moment and Ziva is shocked at the fury that she sees in her eyes. The young woman lets herself be lead away, not once glancing over her shoulder as she disappears around the corner.

Ziva collapses against Tony's chest, sobbing loudly. "I just got her back." It killed her to see her sister walk away without looking back. After all these years of thinking she was dead, to see her alive, but no longer the sister she remembers, to have her ripped away again, was almost unbearable. "I just got her back." She whimpers between shaky breaths.

Tony rests a hand gently on her back. "I know, Ziva. It'll be okay."

‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›

For the first week, Tali is put in compulsory lock-down as she is processed, and they can't get in to see her.

In this time, Ziva finally hears from her father, when he informs her that he is on his way to DC. He arrives the next day, with a few trusted agents from Mossad.

While Ziva isn't allowed anywhere near the investigating to do with her sister, Vance has agreed to let her stay a work, at least while she can't visit Gitmo, and Ziva is thankful. She would have gone crazy, stuck at home with nothing to keep her mind engaged at the time passed.

It's late when her father steps out of the elevator at NCIS, where Ziva is sitting at her desk, attempting to catch up on over-due paperwork. For the first time in years, Ziva feels the urge to hug him, to try and find some small comfort from her father. She quickly pushes the urge aside. It's been too long for them to start such intimacies now.

"Ziva," He says by way of greeting, and Ziva is glad she didn't give in to her urge. "Where is she?" He asks, glancing around the bull pen. It's empty except for them. Tony is down in evidence, and McGee is with Abby. Ziva doesn't even begin to guess as to where Gibbs could be.

"The FBI took her to Gitmo. She's in lock down." Ziva explains, leaning against her desk. Eli simply nods, and his lack of interest sparks irritation in her. This is her sister, his daughter, and he barely seems to care. "You could get her out." She pushes, trying to get him to actually interact with her. "She's your daughter; you're the Director of Mossad. You could get her out." He acts like he hasn't heard her and her anger flares. She stands, taking a step closer to him. "That is my sister they've locked up like a terrorist! Why don't you care?"

He looks at her, eyes cold and steady. "She is a terrorist, Ziva. And I will not interfere."

Something about his behaviour is off, Ziva notices. She knows he is a hard man, has always been a hard man. But this is his daughter, his baby daughter, who they thought was dead, come back to life. And he hasn't shown any surprise, any emotion.

Suddenly, Ziva reels back, mouth flying open. "You knew." The words escape her in a rush of breath and his lack of reaction gives her her answer. "All these years, you knew she was alive, and you never said a word. How could you?!"

"I only suspected, Ziva, I never knew for sure." He finally breaks his silence. "It was just too convenient, and then I heard rumours, and I knew she had been turned against us. I always thought that one day she would surface again, to come for us." His voice trails off, his gaze never wavering.

"You never said anything! Never hinted to us they she could be out there! We could have gone after her."

He shakes his head. "By the time I suspected what had happened, it was too late to save her."

"It was never too late to save her! She was alive!" Ziva yells, stepping forward. She couldn't believe her father was acting like this – this was heartless even for him. Ziva knows that she shouldn't be surprised, but this is a new low. She had never even suspected that he was keeping such a thing from her. "She was my sister, and I would have gone after her."

"I know, which is why I never told you. If she was going to reappear, she had to come to us, to threaten us." There is something in his voice that makes Ziva think very carefully about what he has just said. When the reality of it finally hits her, she almost physically stumbles back, tears of anger and outrage spring to her eyes instantly, before she has a chance to check them.

"You wanted her to threaten us, because it was the only way you knew that I would take care of it." The words are a hushed realisation, and she can hardly believe she is speaking them. "You wanted me to kill her. Is that why you pushed me so hard, trained me to have no feelings, so sense of family? So that it would mean nothing to me when I killed her?!" Ziva's voice rises with her anger, until she's screaming at her father. "Is that why you sent me here after Ari? Because you had already trained me to kill one of my siblings. We're you proud when you heard your training had paid off?"

Eli only sighs, knowing it is pointless to try and talk Ziva down now. She could never, would never see things from his side. And he supposes he can't really blame her. He has to live with the decisions he's made, even if his daughter doesn't approve. He did what he thought was best at the time, he can't change that now.

"You have no feelings." She hisses, the venom in her voice is evident. But Eli is used to harsh words, but there is a line, even for her.

"I have no feelings?" He growls. "There was a time, Ziva, when my house was filled with the sound of children laughing. You, and Ari, and Tali. There was a time, Ziva." But that time feels a lifetime ago now, and they have all made choices since then that have changed the course of their lives.

‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›

_The months seem to crawl slowly by, but Ziva thinks Tali ages too quickly, and she tries to shelter her from what she knows it going on in their family. Ari has started disappearing frequently, training with their father. Ziva has also started training, navigation and self-defence and offence. Much to Ziva's relief, their father hasn't shown an interest in Tali yet, and she can only hope that it will stay that way. Tali is too sweet, too innocent to follow in the footsteps of her older siblings. _

_But it's summer now, and they have finished schooling for the time being and while this means their father will be pushing them into even more training, it also means having some free time._

_Ari is lounged up against the side of the house, a book resting in on his knees as he stays out of the blistering sun. The summer is a hot one, and today is no different. Except that Ziva has set up the garden sprinkler in the back yard, as a surprise for Tali, who has been complaining about the heat all week._

_Tali screeches with excitement as she spots the spray of water falling from the sky. She grins up at her Ziva, a huge smile on her face. "You did this?"_

_Ziva just nods, watching for a moment as Tali streaks through the spray, drenching her singlet and shorts. Tali waves her arms, begging for her sister to come and play with her. Ziva doesn't hesitate, bolting out the door, giggling as the water trickles off her hot skin. Together they dance, play and chase until the dirt churns to mud beneath their feet, Ari watching with a smirk on his face from his place in the shade. But even he lets out a laugh when Tali tackles Ziva face first into the mud, getting them both filthy. _

_Ziva staggers to her feet, but Tali is already scampering into the safely of the house, her laugher floating back over her shoulder._

"_Oh you are going to pay for that, little sister." She threatens, dashing after Tali. Tali is hiding around the other side of the kitchen table, and Ziva only has to chase her around it for a moment, before she catches her, swinging the girl off her feet, ignoring the wild, giggled cries for mercy as she tickles the younger girl._

_A voice comes boobing from the doorway, and they both instantly halt, laughter cut off. "You'd better clean this up." The two sisters turn to see their father eyeing the mud trail they've left behind. But when he turns to them, there is a smile playing on his lips, and the girls return it in full._

"_Yes, Abba." Ziva promises, playfully throwing the five year old over her shoulder as she heads back outside._

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"You should leave." A voice comes from beside Ziva, and she's not surprised she didn't hear Gibbs approach. Eli mustn't have noticed either, because he flinches slightly at the words, glancing over Ziva's shoulder.

"Maybe I should go." He agrees, not taking his eyes off his daughter. He moves to kiss her, but she pulls away, and he stiffens. "I hope that Tali is still the person you think she is, Ziva." He says in warning. He knows she will never understand the choices he has made, but he does hope that one day she will begin to forgive him.

He turns and leaves the floor without looking back, Ziva's eyes following him the whole way, making sure he is gone. When she hears the elevator chime as it closes, she turns to Gibbs, tears still welled in her eyes. He doesn't say a word as she pulls her into a tight embrace, and she doesn't make a sound as the tears carve wet pathways down her cheeks.

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A/N #2: Okay, I hope you liked the flashbacks. I tried to keep them in chronological order, but to fit in with scenes in the fic, some will be set earlier or later than other. But it won't be a big deal, you'll pretty much figure it out.

Again, thanks for reading, and please review if you read!


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I do have to warn for this chapter, since it contains a scene that describes the act of suicide. No one actually dies, but it is a little bit graphic. So please, if this might be triggery for you, be careful.

I hope you enjoy this chapter and please review if you read. xx

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She gives up her gun and her badge, takes off her shoes and puts up with their probing and checking. As an NCIS agent, she is used to skipping all of this nonsense. But this isn't exactly a normal NCIS visit, and it has been leaked that she is related to a terrorist, so she accepts their insisting searches until they are satisfied she is clean, but regardless, they keep her gun.

The interrogation room is quite small, with no glass viewing area, just the four sealed walls and the door. When the guards bring Tali in, pushing her into the chair, she looks skinnier than Ziva remembers, smaller somehow. She seems just as angry though, Ziva seeing it ever-burning behind her eyes dark.

She sits opposite the hand-cuffed young woman, noticing that the skin on her wrists is angry and red where it has been rubbed raw from the cuffs, and Ziva knows it's only as bad as it is because Tali has been fighting with them, in some futile attempt to get free. Ziva tries to think what she would do it their roles were reversed; if she were the one in the perceived enemy's custody, if she really and wholehearted believed who she was sitting across from wanted to harm her and keep her trapped, when she had done nothing more than protect her beliefs. If she's honest, she can't blame her sister for the way she is acting – she would do no different in her position. But it makes her gut twist into physically painful knots to think that her baby sister truly does believe that she is the enemy. There had been a time when Ziva would have given her life for this girl, but now, she knows that Tali would brush it off as nothing more than an offhanded loss in the course of her mission and never give it a second thought.

This time, Ziva says nothing. They sit like that for hours, neither speaking a word, surrounded by the silence. Ziva studies Tali, trying to recognise everything that has changed in the years they've been separated. Ziva always knew that Tali would be a beautiful girl, and under all the anger that creases lines into her face, Ziva can see that she is still beautiful. But time, and the harshness of her life has changed her, and Ziva wonders if Tali remembers the girl she used to be, happy and proud, so full of life. But Ziva knows all too well what kinds of things can rip happiness and hope from a person.

Ziva is surprised when Tali drops to her knees in a corner, starting her prayers, but she says nothing, just simply keeps sitting, watching and waiting, listening to Tali's quietly whispered words in Arabic.

The hours slide slowly by, while Tali sits back into the corner, with Ziva watching her silently. The silent wait is agonising for Ziva, who wants nothing more than to pull her baby sister into her arms and never let go. However, pushing the girl hasn't and isn't going to work. So Ziva sit silently until it is dark outside and the guard comes to take Tali back to her cell.

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She arrives early the next morning, slowly going through the same procedure, waiting for Tali in the same interrogation room. The girl seems hesitant to enter a second time, unsure of this tactic, and thrown slightly off-guard.

Again, Ziva sits silently as Tali goes about her prayers, and then they just sit, on opposite sides of the room the blood between them feeling no thicker than the dull air they shared.

They've been sitting for hours, when Ziva finally speaks. It's a quiet almost inaudible whisper of Tali's name, a plea for the young woman to talk to her, to try to be girl that Ziva remembers.

At her name, Tali looks up, seeming to study Ziva for a moment, before she hisses at her in Arabic words that Ziva wishes she didn't know. There is a fury burning in her eyes that Ziva finds harsh, whether it is more intense because it's coming from her sister, Ziva doesn't know. So much has changed, but behind all the teachings and the 'brain-washing', she knows her sister. This is the girl who clung, terrified, to her leg when their father left them in the forest, to make their own way out.

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"_But Ziva, I'm scared." Tali whispers and Ziva can feel the tiny fingers clinging to the edge of her cargo pants. Ziva pulls off her blindfold, giving the forest around them a quick survey. She wouldn't put it past her father to leaving them in imminent danger. But nothing seems out of the ordinary, except that they have no idea which way they came in. _

_Ziva kneels next to her sister, who is to terrified to let go of Ziva long enough to pull her own blindfold off. Ziva can't help but smile softly to herself. This girl wasn't an agent and Ziva doubted she ever would be. But that didn't stop their father from trying to mould her into one. _

_Ziva gently unties the material, tucking it into her pocket in case it becomes handy later. Poor Tali is refusing to open her eyes, her head hanging down, lids clamped tightly shut. _

_"Hey, Tali, it's okay. Open your eyes, __Akhot ktana__. I promise it isn't scary. And I'm right here. I'll take care of you." She strokes a hand over Tali's soft brown hair. Slowly, the younger girl opens her eyes, glancing around quickly before focusing on her sister. Ziva smiles and motions to their surroundings. "See, there isn't anything scary here. Just trees and animals, and they don't want to hurt you. They think that you are scary." _

_Tali risks another look around, longer this time, seeming to consider Ziva's words, but hesitant that something could come out at them at any moment. _

_"How are we going to get out?" Tali murmurs and Ziva straightens, taking her sister's hand. _

_"Don't you worry about that. I can get us out of here." _

_It doesn't take long for Ziva to get her bearings, to identify points by which to navigate. And as they move through the forest, she sees signs that Ari has passed before them. He is too old to stay with them now; the girl's need to be able to do it with his help. Which doesn't bother Ziva one bit. She is happy to challenge her brother to see who can get home first. _

_But Ziva barely ever wins. _

_"Ziva," A weary voice comes from beside her and Ziva pauses, glancing down at Tali, who has slowly begun to drag against Ziva's hand. "I'm tired, and my feet hurt." _

_"Not much further, Tali, okay? We are almost there." Ziva promises, casting a glance around. It's almost dusk, the sun threatening to dip behind the mountain. _

_Tali's face falls. "But I'm tired." _

_Ziva sighs, resting a hand on her sister's head. "Alright, alright." She crouches down, motioning for Tali to jump up onto her back. Tali clambers on awkwardly, linking her small arms around Ziva's neck, and though Ziva herself is starting to feels the day's events gnaw at her muscles, Tali feels light upon her back. She stands, adjusting the girl before knotting her fingers tightly behind her back under Tali. _

_Tali rests her chin on Ziva's shoulder, her warm breath coming in small puffs against Ziva's cheek. "Ready to go home?" _

_Tali simply nods, and Ziva can almost feel the young girl's eyelids fluttering shut. Ziva smiles, once again heading in the direction of home. _

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It is on the fourth day that Tali reaches her breaking point. They have already been sitting for hours when Tali flies to her feet, anger and confusion clear in her eyes.

"What do you want from me?" She demands in Arabic. Ziva looks up at her slowly, not flinching at the harsh Arabic as she once did.

"I just want you to know I'm not leaving you again. Not this time. I will sit here until you start to believe me." She replies softly.

Taliis a bit taken aback by her honest answer, suddenly unsure. But then her body stiffens again. "Then you can go." She turns her back on Ziva again.

"I've lost 15 years already, Tali, I won't lose another day."

"You lost 15 years?" Something sparks in Tali and she spins around. "You abandoned me! You left me! You lost nothing you hadn't already discarded."

"Abandoned you?" Ziva stands, her own emotions coming to the surface. "I thought you were dead. Everyone had thought you had died."

"Because you made me go alone."

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"_Tali, I can't go. I'm sorry." Ziva says, exasperated. Tali is standing defiantly, arms crossed, but Ziva can see the tears welling in her eyes. "I have lessons to do, father's orders."_

"_But you promised you would take me." Tali begs, trying not to let her voice crack. "We always go to the market together. I wanted to buy a bracelet."_

"_Another time, Tali." Ziva bends down, trying to place a kiss on her sister's head, but Tali turns away, clearly hurt by what she thinks is her sisters decision to abandon her. "Come on, don't be like that. The market will be on next month. You can wait a month." Ziva tries to reason, but Tali is six, and reason doesn't yet play a large part in her thought process. Ziva huffs, slightly frustrated at her sister's behaviour. "Fine, Tali. Be angry. I have to go, but I will be back this afternoon. Maybe was can do something then, okay?" Ziva drops a kiss on Tali's head before the girl can protest, before grabbing her bag on the way out the door._

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Ziva pauses, her eyebrows knitting together. "To the market? You think I sent you alone? I told you to wait, I told you we would go together." Anyone listening would not have been able to tell the difference between the languages they were speaking, but neither wanted to give in and speak the language of the other. So they continued to speak in their own, each able to understand the other.

"Because you had better things to do."

"Better things to do? Abba sent me away. I couldn't defy him. You think I wanted to leave you that day? To come home to find you were dead? Do you know how many years I blamed myself for getting you killed? How many times I wished I could go back and change it. How many times I almost gave it all up to join you?" Ziva shivers even as she speaks the words. Whoever decided to give an angry, guilty teenager a gun hadn't been thinking clearly.

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_It feels cold and heavy in her hands, but not as heavy as the weight she carries with her every day. It's been nearly four months since she lost Tali, and the pain never seems to cease, to ease. Instead it intensifies with every passing day, every day that Tali doesn't get to live. _

_Ziva comes to understand the way Tali had cried for the loss of their mother, the long wailing cries echoing through the house. The same way Ari had shaken Tali to get her to stop, Eli now repeats to Ziva. But it is as ineffective as it had been on the toddler, and eventually they all give up. There is no one to stand up for Ziva, to hold her and coax her back from the darkness. _

_Eli pushes her to train harder, as if that will somehow lessen the blow. Ziva doesn't know what she is fighting for any more – Tali is already dead. But Ziva cannot resist her father and so she goes with Ari to train, goes through the motions of a life without really living. _

_Every time she closes her eyes, Tali's face flashes in her mind. Sometimes she's happy and smiling, other times she scared and alone, as Ziva imagines she was when the bomb went off. She hopes it was quick, that she didn't suffer. But wishing such things about her sister's death makes her gut churn, and she finds herself bolting to the bathroom to empty her stomach. _

_Now, she is in her room, the room she used to share with Tali, whose essence still clings to the walls, soaking into Ziva whenever she enters. Her father is working, Ari is off doing whatever it is he does when he slips away, and the house screams with its emptiness. So Ziva screams along with it, Tali's name ripped from her throat at the top of her lungs, over and over until Ziva's voice is gone and her cheeks are stained with tears. _

_It's then she reaches for her gun. She would never have kept it in the room when Tali was around, but things have changed. It now goes with her everywhere, a silent partner, almost a friend. The cold metal digs into her palm as she grips it. _

_Her whole body is shaking as she lifts it to her mouth, shoving it inside. The sharp taste of metal hits her tongue and she almost gags. Her breaths come in short, shallow gasps, her finger quivering above the trigger. _

_She is alone in the world, her mother is dead, her sister is dead, her brother shows no love and she wonders now if her father ever loved her. He has lost his precious baby now, and Ziva knows she can never make up for what he lost in Tali. Tali was better than she can ever be. _

_The room begins to spin, the muzzle of the gun is pressed roughly against the roof of her mouth, carving a dent where it sits. With a stifled sob, Ziva drops her hand, gun falling to the bed beside her. Tali was better than she would ever be, even in death. Even in death, Tali was praised for being an innocent, while Ziva's shameful act would be quickly forgotten. _

_The sobs start again as Ziva curls into herself, her empty arms feeling the ghost of her sister's body against hers. _

_After that night, Ziva's emptiness turns into something else, something as equally as dangerous – hate. Hate for the world and its cruelty, its unfairness. Hate for the people who had killed an innocent child. _

_She thinks it is then, that she finally became what her father had always wanted – a killer. _

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"I know what you must have gone through. How scared you must have been, taken away from your family. I don't know what they did to you, and I wish you had never experienced any of it. But I would never have left you. I didn't know you were alive, Tali. I swear I never knew." Ziva's voice cracks, the tears welling in her eyes once more. But this time she doesn't wipe them away. She wants Tali to see her emotion, to know she does care, does love her, even after all this time, after all that has happened.

Tali bites her lip, and Ziva can see her chest heaving, her body quivering almost violently. Something has changed his Tali's eyes. Something has silently slipped away, even after all these years, all the re-training of all she knew and believed. The six year old girl Ziva once knew is there, somewhere deep inside, swimming in an ocean of lies and deceit.

"Come home to me, Tali." Ziva whispers in Hebrew, taking a step forward, opening her arms ever so slightly.

Tali hesitates for a moment, her body feeling like it is trying to tear itself in two. There is a part of her that is dying to move, to accept the arms of surrender, and return to what she had been stolen from. But the years of teachings, her burning anger, have such a hold on her that she can't bring herself to move, to take that first step.

"Ziva," she begs, and Ziva instantly rushes forward, scooping the girl into her arms, clinging to her so tightly she wonders if she might crush her, but she refuses to let go, to loosen her grip. She wants Tali to know how much she loves her, even if she has to physically squeeze that knowledge and love into her.

Ziva feels the wetness spreading on her shirt though she doesn't feel Tali's breathing change. So she pulls her even closer, weaving her fingers in her hair and burying her face in the tangle of curls, breathing in deeply the scent of her sister that had long ago haunted her memory. "I'll never let you go again, Tali." She promises, pressing a kiss to the girl's head.

It's then she feels a small hand cling to the back of her shirt, not a tiny as it once was, but small all the same.


	4. Chapter 4

Ziva had stayed true to her word, and it had taken two of the guards to finally tear her away from Tali. She cupped Tali's face, pressing a kiss to her cheek, even as the guards manhandled her out of the room. "I'll be back Tali, in the morning. I love you, little sister." She could have fought harder, caused the guards some serious damage and gained herself a few more minutes. But she worried that if she did, she would be banned from returning the next day, so she let them escort her out.

She had barely slept that night, fitfully waiting for dawn to come so she could return to the facility, so she could return to Tali.

But when she is let back into the interrogation room the next day, Tali is already waiting for her. But overnight, something has changed. She stands hesitantly in one corner, eyes darting about as Ziva enters. She looks frightened, unsure of exactly what she has gotten herself into. She's opened a box she doesn't know if she is prepared for what is coming next. She's been protecting herself for so long, been so distanced from all of her emotions, except for hate, that she doesn't know how to handle anything else.

Ziva doesn't approach her, just takes a seat and motions to the one opposite her. Tali shuffles over, gingerly sitting down on the edge of her seat while keeping a wary eye on Ziva.

Ziva reaches across, slowly and gently taking Tali's hand not wanting to push her, by dying to have any kind of contact after so many years. She lifts the hand to her lips, pressing a kissing against the back of it. She feels Tali tense, but she waits just a moment for the girl to relax just a bit before she lowers their hands back to the table, not letting go completely but loosening her grip just a little. She is surprised when Tali doesn't instantly pull away. Instead the girl studies their hands, like she is not quite sure about what to do. Eventually, Tali looks up through her lashes and Ziva smiles at her softly.

"Tali…" She hesitates, speaking in English, a sort of middle ground for them. "We need to know why you were coming here. You need to tell us what is going on. Please." Tali glances away, her shoulders slumping a little. "It's important. We need to know."

"I was sent here, by the Hamas. I won't tell you why." Tali replies, some of her conditioning still clinging to the corners of her mind. "I can't."

"Tali, if you don't tell me what's going on, they are going to keep you here. You are going to be locked up in this place for the rest of your life. You need to tell me. You have to help yourself."

Tali shivers. She doesn't like being locked up. She has spent too much of her life locked up, one way or another. The idea of being held a prisoner for the rest of her life makes her feel sick, and if she's honest, she'd rather die, quickly, than rot away slowly in this place. Self-preservation kicks in, just as it did all those years ago.

"There is man," Tali begins gradually, considering her words as though she can't decide which ones to use. "He raises funds for anti-terrorist campaigns. He has been causing…trouble. I was sent here to stop him."

"Is that it?"

"For now." The words hold a deeper meaning, and Ziva prompts gently.

"For now?"

"I was supposed to lay low and await further instructions. I was told agents state-side would contact me when they were ready…" Tali drifts off, wondering what would have happened if things had gone to plan, if she hadn't been captured and thrown into an American prison. Her sister certainly wouldn't be sitting across from her. But at the moment, she doesn't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing, which is the better outcome.

Ziva reaches her free hand across the table, using one finger to delicately lift Tali's chin until the girl is looking at her again. Her eyes are haunted, and Ziva can only imagine what images play in her head.

"What happened to you, baby sister?" She whispers, holding Tali's face steady when she tries to turn away. "Please, tell me." Tali bites down hard on her bottom lip, a bright bead of blood appearing before she even registers the pain. "Hey, hey." Ziva strokes Tali's cheek with her thumb until the girl releases her lip. "None of that. Just tell me, Tali."

Slowly, Tali lets out a breath, albeit it a shaky one. "They locked me in a room. It was cold, and dark. They told me that you didn't want me anymore. That you didn't want me to be a part of your family, and that you had sent them to take me away. They locked me up for the longest time. I was hungry, and scared, and I cried for you." Her voice breaks, a tear crawling down her cheek and Ziva feels Tali's fingers twitch in her hand and she clasps it tightly in hers, squeezing. She can feel her own tears building. "Eventually, I couldn't cry any more, and when I stopped, they fed me. I didn't want to take food from them, but I was so hungry. They let me out then, but I was scared, and I didn't know who they were." There is a long pause, and Ziva doesn't say anything to encourage her, just waits. "So I ran." Tali flinches as she speaks the words, and knows Ziva the action was a mistake, one the 6 years old had probably only made once. "They beat me until I couldn't walk, couldn't breathe." She takes a short breath now, as if haunted by the pain. "They told me that it was the Israeli's fault that I was being put through this, that Allah was angry and I was being pushed for their sins. The only way I could make it stop was to purge my past and dedicate my life to His work."

"Okay, it's okay." Ziva murmurs, not wanting to interrupt, but wanting Tali to know it's okay for her to continue.

"They started training me soon after, throwing me into real fights and I had to learn how to take care of myself. But I was still little, and didn't know what I was doing. It took me a long time to learn how to fight back, to stay safe and even win. But in the meantime, a girl has many things to offer, even if she has not reached fighting age…And I was made good use of." Ziva has to bite back an instinctive growl, anger spiking as she imagines anyone hurting her sister in such a way. Not only her sister, but a mere child. It makes her sick, and it makes her angry. However, she knows that her anger won't help her at the moment, so she pushes it aside.

"Tali, you have to tell me what you were involved in. I need to know everything if I am going to get you out of this." Ziva strokes the back of Tali's hand with a finger. It's only a small gesture. But between two women who were raised in environments with no physical affection for most of their lives, it speaks volumes. Tali raises her gaze to find Ziva's eyes soft with understanding, but she can see the older woman's chin trembling, and Tali feels an ache in her chest she doesn't recognise.

"They kept me close, and I studied every bit of intel, learned where we were needed. L earned where we needed to place ourselves, what action needed to be taken. I also took care of…incidents on Palestinian soil, relating to members." She hesitates, unsure in that moment whether to be proud or ashamed. "This was my first solo mission, first time out of Palestine." Tali shifts in her chair, her free hand flattening against the table. "I am here to kill, Ziva. To kill for the cause, it is His will." She jerks her hand away from Ziva's, and Ziva feels the loss hit home. "I have a job to do. That I was trained to do." She absently rubs her fingers; fingers Ziva suspects have been broken many times. Tali's voice rises as she becomes even more agitated. "It is His will, that I am here, that I was taken. It is my duty to fulfil his wishes, for us to succeed. We are the sacred people and we will lead the world back to its purity. You can't tell me that it is for nothing. You can't.."

Ziva has only a second to respond, seeing the change in Tali's body language, the glint in her eye suddenly becoming one of violence as Tali's body uncoils, and she lunges for Ziva.

Ziva dives out of the way, but Tali's momentum keeps her coming, and Ziva has to dodge a fist that goes flying past her face, slightly closer than she is comfortable with.

"Tali!" She yells, trying to get the girl to snap out of it, but she's lost in her anger, lost in the memories of what was done to her, things she had no control over. Now that she has the chance, she's fighting with all she has. Ziva's been there, lost in the hate and desperate need to fight with every fibre of her being, and knows that Tali is too far gone to be reasoned with.

The girl comes at her again, wild with desperation, no longer registering where she is, just knowing that she has to fight. Ziva blocks a blow with her forearm, inwardly cringing at the contact. She still thinks of Tali as her baby sister, despite all her training, years of conditioning, and it devastates her to have to fight her like this. But Tali is coming at her hard and fast, no intention of letting up. She is like a caged animal, hungry and terrified, and lashing out with everything she has left.

Ziva makes a grab for her hands, trying to subdue her, and Tali takes advantage of her focus, ramming a knee into Ziva's stomach. Ziva grunts, her breath escaping her for a second and she struggles to gasp in another. While she's disoriented, Tali slams her elbow down on Ziva's back. Ziva knows she has to stop Tali, that her sister isn't going to just calm down, and she jumps forward while she is doubled over, ramming Tali against the wall with a thud.

Tali swipes out her leg, knocking Ziva's ankles and sending her sprawling. Before she has a chance to react, Ziva rolls away and jumps back up to her feet, surging forward to meet Tali again. When Tali directs a blow at her face, Ziva manages to get a hold of her wrist, twisting the girl's arm behind her back with all her momentum, shoving her face first against the wall. Ziva pins her with her body, noticing how fragile Tali feels against her, like she will break if she gets pushed too hard, but Ziva has no choice. She presses her against the wall, trying to ignore the girls' grunts as she struggles to get away, though Ziva is worried she is going to hurt herself.

Ziva drops her head to whisper in her sister's ear, trying to calm her. "Shh, Tali. It's okay now. You're safe now. Please, settle." She murmurs softly, until the fight seems to slip from Tali and she sags against the wall, Ziva quickly wrapping an arm around Tali's body to keep her up. She lets the girl turn slowly in her arms, and when she does, Ziva can see that something else has slipped away too, something more important. She recognises the look in her eyes, has seen it in her own reflection in Somalia, when she was beaten, almost broken, and had lost her will to fight, to care, to live.

_It's been months, since she has been able to breathe properly, and knows that she has at least some broken ribs that haven't healed properly. The constant kicks that rain down don't help, and she's given up on trying to fight. Her wrists are scarred from her futile attempts to escape her bonds, and she wonders if there are any muscles left in her arms, or if they have all wasted away, with the last remnants of her hope. Now, all she wishes for is a quick death, for her suffering to be over. She won't give them the information that they want, and no matter what torture they think up next, they can't make her give up her friends, her family at NCIS. _

_But then, long past when she thought she would be killed and left in the desert to rot, she is dragged to another room and faced with someone who she has long since considered herself dead to. _

"_Ziva, can you fight?" Tony's voice cracks, but there is a determination in his eyes and she knows he hasn't been in this hell for long. She waits before she answers, firstly because it has been weeks since she used her voice and she's unsure if it will work for her. _

_But she also doesn't have an answer for him. And if she does, he won't like it. Her fight is gone, shattered somewhere in the dust that is her prison floor, and she doesn't think she can pick up the pieces. It's been crushed too many times, stomped and thrashed into the dirt. She has resolved herself to dying out here, has silently begged for her death to come to her, and to have life dangled in front of her now, she is almost scared to let the glimmer of hope into her heart, not sure if she can take the devastation if it is again snuffed out. _

_But McGee's voice is strong, Tony's reassuring as they coax her back, reminding her of the woman she was, the only woman they have ever known of her, and slowly she feels something return to her. There is a tingle in her body, her heart skips a beat and with a single nod to Tony she takes her life back. _

"Tali, no. Don't you dare do this to me." Ziva squeezes the girl's arms, almost shaking her in her desperation to bring her back, to stop the downward spiral. "Not now, Tali. I just got you back. Tali, you have to fight. Come on, please." Ziva begs, tears welling in her eyes. But Tali just stands limply in her arms, eyes staring and unfocused.

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A/N: Sorry this chapter took so long. I had to fly interstate for a funeral, and a whole bunch of family stuff.

Please, if you read, review. It literally takes _30 seconds_ and it means SOO much to me. I don't believe in holding chapters hostage for reviews, but it's really encouraging to write faster when I get them. Plus, I really want to know what you think of my version of Tali and what's happening between her and Ziva. Let me know you're reading and if you're liking it. Thanks!


	5. Chapter 5

Tali is unreachable for days. She just sits opposite Ziva, eyes always looking past her, never at her. Her hair hangs limply around her shoulders, clearly unwashed, dark curls a stark contrast to white uniform she's been given. It hits a nerve to see her sister in a uniform iconically used for terrorists and other vicious extremists.

Ziva has tried everything to bring Tali back, holding her for hours, as if trying to convey her comfort by way of osmosis. She tries to reason with Tali, begs her to return, to try to move past this.

"I know what it's like to be under someone else's control. To feel like you have no power. And the only way to get that power back is to... shut down. You tell yourself you must shut down. You tell yourself to never show emotion to anybody." Ziva holds both Tali's hands in hers, squeezing tightly, but the girl never tries to pull away, just accepts the contact. "I know what that's like. Sometimes, it's the only way you can survive." Ziva reaches out, running a finger softly down her cheek, trying to get Tali to focus on her. "But this isn't one of these times, Tali. I promise you. You don't have to shut down like this…"

For one infuriating moment, Ziva has the urge to strike the other woman. To try and get to her respond; she thinks that anything would be better than this sustained silence. But it's a brief moment, nothing more than a fleeting thought. This is her sister, her baby sister, who has already been through so much. She knows that more violence will only push her further into herself.

For yet another night, Ziva is forced to leave Tali, no evident progress made. It kills her to leave her sister alone in such a hostile place, but she has no choice. She takes small comfort in the fact that it is better that some of the places that the girl could be locked up in.

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Ziva chooses to skip her meal at the dining facility, instead returning to her temporary residence. It's a tiny room, not much larger than a shipping container, with nothing more with than a bed, a hastily put together desk and a latrine. If she wishes to shower, she must leave her room and use the community shower facilities at the end of the block. There are seven other units like hers in the block, 6 of which she knows are occupied. She is lucky to have acquired a room at all, with length waits for nearly all of the accommodation at the base. But she thinks that luck has less to with it, and it is more due to the fact that Gibbs used her status as an agent and had made a few calls on her behalf. She can't express how grateful she is to be able to be close to Tali. It is a comfort to Ziva, in a small way, to at least be in the vicinity of the girl when she can't be by her side.

While she has had a purely non-physical day, Ziva is exhausted. Her fatigue is mental, and emotional, and she finds those infinitely harder to deal with. Physical, she has been trained for. There have been times when she has had to fight past the point where her muscles have drained every ounce of adrenaline , fought tooth and nail while battered and bleeding. She can count the times she's has been completely emotionally drained on one hand.

She's just getting changed when her phone rings. Flipping it open, she expects to see a DC area code, but instead it is a number from on the base. Her heart is pounding in her ears before she even connects the call, deafening her to the point that she worries that she won't hear the person on the other line. She shouldn't have worried. Words have never stung her ears to sharply, and she knows that they will haunt her until the day she dies.

She doesn't remember if she locks the door, she doesn't really remember much of anything in the moments after hanging up the phone. All she knows is that she somehow managed to get her clothes as shoes back on, because she is dressed, flying into the hospital and grabbing the arm of the first nurse she sees. She knows is she's frightening the woman, can see it in her face, but she doesn't care.

"Tali David. Where is she? What happened?!"

"Okay, please calm down." The woman shakes Ziva off her arm, ducking behind the desk and flipping through the files until she finds the right one. She reads as she leads Ziva down the hallway, Ziva striding hastily beside her. "Attempted suicide, at 8:36 and was found with deep lacerations to her wrists, as well as one to her neck. She lost quite a lot of blood, but she should be okay. She's receiving half a transfusion at the moment, just to be safe. She's on suicide watch at the moment, but she should be okay to return to holding in a day or two." She motions to a room, Ziva glancing in the door to see Tali once again lying in a hospital bed.

"She won't be returning to holding." Ziva growls under her breath. She can't believe that they let this happen, that her baby sister almost died on their watch, after all she's managed to survive through.

She slips quietly into the room, Tali not seeming to stir from her sleep, a sleep Ziva suspects might be drug induced. It's the second time in as many weeks that Ziva has seen this girl in the hospital, and she cringes at the sight. Tali's olive skin looks pale, even compared to the starched white sheets, and that alone scares her. How much did she really lose? She suddenly gets nauseous at the image of Tali lying in a pool of her own blood against the nearly sterile floor of her cell. Blood isn't something that usually gets to her, but when that blood is supposed to be inside her sister, keeping her alive, Ziva finds that it's a different story.

She creeps forward, seeing the bandages wrapped tightly around Tali's wrists, extending halfway up her forearms. There is also a bandage across half of her neck, which even now is dotted with seeping blood. A transfusion bag hangs above her head, the dark blood flowing down the tube that meets with Tali's inner elbow, slowly trickling life back into her.

Ziva moves to pull the seat closer to the bed, reaching out and brushing a hair from Tali's face. She looks so small here, and now, while she is vulnerable and unguarded, Ziva can clearly see the child that she lost so many years ago. She wonders how much has really changed, under all the superficial things that have been changed for her. She wonders if pink is still her favourite colour, if horses are still her favourite animal, if she still snores lightly in the early hours of the morning like she used to when Ziva would wake early for training and watch the young girl sleep while she dressed.

But Ziva suspects at the moment, Tali's favourite things are those that keep her alive – the colour black, and moving through the dead of night on missions. And frankly, Ziva is grateful for anything and everything that has kept her alive all these years. She suspects, that like herself, there have been dicey times, times where a mere hairs breadth has meant the difference between life and death.

She takes one of Tali's small hands in her, folding her free arm on the bed, lowering her head to rest it where she can watch Tali. She studies the girl while she sleeps, the slow rise and fall of her chest, backgrounded by the sound of the heart monitor counting each beat of her heart. Ziva sees so much of their mother in Tali's features, the shape of her eyes, the curve of her lips. Tali always was their mother's daughter. Sweet and caring and gentle. However she doubts that Tali even remembers any hint of their mother; she was so young when she passed away. And she realizes that so many other memories would have quickly taken their place. Darker, more prevalent memories.

With the rhythmic blipping of the heart monitor and Tali's profile filling her view, Ziva eventually slips into a dreamless sleep.

When Tali wakes, she feels a weight on her stomach, blinking slowly as she adjusts to the harsh hospital lights. Looking down, there is dark hair spilled across her body, a hand gripping the sheets over her chest. It takes her a moment to recognize the figure as her sister. Ziva is still asleep, breaths coming quietly. It's been a long time since Tali has had someone sleep so close to her, Hamas not exactly a place for intimate moments. She shifts slightly, and Ziva lifts her head, using a hand to brush the stray locks from her face.

Tali is dull and subdued, a total contrast to the first time Ziva saw her wake in a hospital. She barely seems to notice where she is, or the bandages on her wrists. But Ziva can see the disappointment in her eyes, disappointment that she is alive, still trapped and unable to escape. The one and only chance she would get, failed.

"Hey," Ziva murmurs softly, resting her head on her elbow. "How are you feeling?" She doesn't expect a response, but she asks anyway, knowing that just letting Tali shut down is worse than trying and failing.

Ziva glances around, noticing that the blood bag has been taken away while they were sleeping. Her chart board above the bed has been updated for the day, the name of the day nurse now written there. Ziva is reassured to see that Tali is listed as stable, even though she is still being monitored for any more attempts at suicide. But Ziva doubts that the girl will try again, the last of her fight now completely spent.

Her phone rings when Tali is asleep again, and Ziva ducks outside to take the call, letting the door click shut behind her. She stays close, where she is out of the way of the hospital staff, but where she can still keep an eye on Tali's door in case anyone tries to sneak in.

"Ziva, how are you doing?" Gibbs' voice it strong, reassuring even over the phone, and she feels some of the weight lift from her shoulders simply by hearing it. "I heard what happened. Is Tali okay?"

Ziva lets out a deep sigh, leaning against the closest wall as she tries to decide where to start. She's spoken to Gibbs a few times since she left, though all their conversations have been hurried in spare moments. "She is alive, and according to the doctor's assessment, stable." She pauses, rubbing at her tired eyes with the back of her free hand. "But Gibbs, this place isn't good for her. She's shut down. She won't talk, barely eats. This place is killing her more every day."

"We haven't found anything to tie her directly to the Hamas. We're taking everything we have to the FBI today and Vance is pushing her case through. If they don't challenge it, she could be out by tomorrow." Something in Gibbs' voice tells her not to let hopes get too high. This is a federal case, relating to terrorists on their soil and there is a good chance that they won't want to let such a possibly important suspect go. All she can do is hope that they have bigger, more fruitful cases to worry about and that such a slight lead will be passed back to NCIS to handle, since she was originally found in a navy port.

"Thank you, Gibbs."

"Don't thank me. Thank Tony and McGee. They haven't stopped investigating this since your plane took off. If there was anything to find, they would have found it." Gibbs isn't one to hand out compliments, and Ziva decides she will have to make an extra effort to say thank you to her teammates when she returns.

She drops her phone back into her pocket, before returning to the room. Tali doesn't do much that day, just lies watching as the nurses come in and out, checking and changing things. She seems to just be waiting for whatever fate has chosen out for her next. She doesn't eat anything significant, and the nurse threatens to put a tube down her throat if she doesn't at least try to east something substantial. Ziva steps in then, assuring the woman that she will get Tali to eat, not sure she can handle seeing Tali strapped to the table while they shove a feeding tube into her stomach, on top of everything else. She thinks Tali has had enough torture already, and she manages to get Tali to swallow at least some of the less than appetising hospital food. It's not much, but it's a start. And Ziva feels like they can only go upwards from here.

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A/N: Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, as well as the few who PMed me. I can't thank you enough. I'm glad people are enjoying this and are curious to see where it's going. Again, please review if you've read this chapter. It takes a few seconds, but it makes my day each and every time.

I'd like to give a quick fic rec to you guys. **ForeignMusicLyrics** is writing an amazing fic centred around Ziva and an undercover mission that changes the course of her life. It also stars Ari and Tali, who have diligently followed their sister to America. It's called _**All Fall Down**_ and you should all read it.


	6. Chapter 6

When dusk falls again, Ziva insists on staying with Tali. She is prepared for a fight, for them to deny such a request, but Tali has already been injured once on their watch and Ziva has no intention of letting that happen again. Much to her surprize, the nurses quickly agree. It takes her a moment to realise that having an NCIS agent stay with a possibly suicidal patient makes their job a heck of a lot easier, regardless of the agents' relationship to the patient. Or, Ziva muses, perhaps because of it.

When Tali's eyes finally drift closed again, she sleeps fitfully now that her slumber is no longer drug induced. Ziva considers asking the nurses to give her something to help her, simply so she can get some rest, but she decides against it. Tali deserves better than just being doped to deal with her problems.

Ziva perches lightly on the edge of her bed, taking one of Tali's hands and cupping it in her own. The bandages are thick on her small wrists and Ziva hates to think of Tali alone and bleeding on the floor in her cell, copious amounts of dark red blood pooling out around her, the warmth no longer in her but rather touching her from the outside as if trying to find a way back in. She wonders if it hurt, if Tali was in pain while she was lying there, or if she simply embraced the feeling of her blood spilling from her as the darkness, like a shroud, came over her.

Tali shifts again, eyelids fluttering and Ziva reaches out, gently stoking a finger down Tali's smooth cheek. Even in her sleep, the girl reflexively leans into the touch, and Ziva can't help the smile that spreads on her lips. Despite how brutally this girl has been treated in her life, how ruthlessly she has been taught that she needs only herself and anything less is weakness, her subconscious still longs for some kind of intimacy. Perhaps it's just muscle memory, triggered by such a tender touch. While Tali's mind may have shut out such recollections, purely for self-preservation (Ziva is familiar with how haunting memories of loving moments can be. They linger like ghosts, taunting of a life lost. Ziva isn't surprized if Tali's mind has hidden them away completely, to try and convince itself this is the only life she's ever known.), her body still fleetingly remembers what a soft touch is.

There have been so many nights when Ziva has woken to the phantom body of her sister lying next to her in the dark, only to have her vanish as soon as her mind drags itself from the depths of sleep. She wonders what their life would have been like if the bombing had never happened, if they had been allowed to grow up together, as sisters.

"_The love of a sibling is…Well I'm lucky. Lucky to have known it." _

There was a time when she had sung her baby sister to sleep every night, not long after their father had been made Director or Mossad. He was gone all the time on business, and often Ari was away as well, either with their father or taking advantage of the newly discovered freedom of being a teenager without any parental supervision. The girls were frequently left alone; something Tali was never comfortable with.

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"_Ziva!" Tali's voice rings out in the near empty house, bare feet slapping on the tiles as Tali bolts into the kitchen, darting between Ziva's legs as her older sister __stirs Shor'aba on the stove. Delicate fingers clutch at her jeans, as Tali buries her face against Ziva's hip. _

_Ziva shuffles her feet to accommodate, reaching one had down to rest on Tali's head, soft curls compressing under her palm. "What is it, tateleh?" _

"_I heard a noise, outside." She whispers, looking up at Ziva, worry clearly evident in her chocolate brown eyes. She quickly flicks off the stove, moving the pot back out of Tali's reach. It's probably nothing, but with just the two of them alone in their father's house, she's not ready to take that chance. _

_She ushers Tali behind a cabinet, guiding her to the floor and crouching down beside her. "Stay quiet, okay, tateleh? And stay here, no matter." Tali nods, curling up as small as she can as Ziva stands._

_She moves silently down the darkened hallway, pulling a knife from her waist. Despite her father's insistence that she carry a gun at all times, she refuses to have one on her in the house, around Tali. She is still just a baby in Ziva's eyes and she wants to keep her shielded from the violence that has infiltrated their family. But she can't deny that danger is always close - that is one thing she has learned from working for her father. So has come to a compromise, and does carry a knife with her, which she is more than capable of using to protect herself. _

_When carefully sweeps the house, ensuring one hundred percent that they are alone. She's make her way back to the kitchen when a noise comes from outside. Instantly she presses herself against the wall, stealthily glancing out the window. Across the street a stray dog is digging in a trashcan that has been knocked over. She waits, but nothing else moves on the lonely street. _

_She returns the knife to the sheath on her belt before she re-enter the kitchen, motioning for Tali to come out. The girl does so hesitantly, glancing down hall before rushing to Ziva's side. She hugs Ziva's legs tightly, and Ziva notices the dampness of her eyelashes. _

"_Oh, tateleh." She murmurs, hoisting the five-year old up to rest on her hip. Tali throws her arms around Ziva's neck, nearly strangling her with her hug. Ziva can hear the soft sniffles as Tali tries to hold back her tears and she cups a hand on the back of Tali's head, massaging softly. "It's okay," She promises. "It was nothing, Tali. Just a dog looking for his dinner." She lets Tali stay in her arms as she goes back to cooking their meal, until she feels the girl begin to relax. Soon enough, Tali is absently playing with a lock of Ziva's hair, twisting it around her finger. _

"_Dinner is ready." She announces, Tali letting herself be transferred from her sisters arms to a place at the table, smiling as Ziva sets a plate down in front of her. They chat about school, and Tali tells her all about how their class is learning fractions, and how the boy next to her kept trying to write them upside down. _

_Later, when their bellies are full, and their eyes are tired, Ziva escorts them to bed. Tali changes into a pink nightdress, crawling up the mattress and dropping her head on the pillow. Ziva can't help but smile at her childlike innocence, before changing herself and taking her next to Tali. Tali reaches down, dragging the covers up over them as she wriggles her body back into Ziva's. Ziva wraps an arm around her sister's small body, pulling her close. Tali's feet barely reach Ziva's knees, the silken material of her dress tickling her skin. The soft scent of her hair permeates Ziva's senses, lulling her into a place of comfort, a familiar place, almost dreamlike, where violence and viciousness doesn't exist for a time._

"_Will you sing?" Tali's voice floats quietly through the darkness. They don't sleep with the light on, despite Tali's fear of the dark. Any light would give enemies the ability to see in, would make them easier targets for snipers. So they sleep in the dark, huddled together to keep away the monsters. _

"_Oh course, tateleh." She murmurs, closing her eyes and letting out a deep breath. "What would you like to hear?" _

"_My favourite, Ziva. My favourite." Tali begs and Ziva can hear the heaviness in her voice, sleep already tugging at the corners of her mind. _

"_Okay," Ziva coos, giving the younger girl a squeeze. She starts singing quiet in Hebrew, her tongue rolling and purring around the lyrics as she strokes Tali's hair, her voice seeming to keep the darkness and its monsters at bay._

"_Sleep sleep my little girl, _

_Sleep sleep, my little one_

_Sleep sleep._

_Daddy's gone to work, _

_He went, daddy went, _

_He'll return when the moon comes out."_

_Tali is sleeping soundly by the time Ziva finishes and she smiles softly, feeling her own eyelids grow heavy. She gives in, letting one hand drift under the pillow to rest on the knife sheath that is hidden there, a comfort that allows her to sleep just a little sounder. _

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Ziva plays with Tali's slender fingers, fingers that have scars she can both see and feel. She lets the song float from her lips now in fluid Hebrew, watching at Tali's eyes flutter open, the girl slowly raising her gaze to watch her sister sing, confusion flicking in her eyes. But it is soon replaced by something else: recognition.

"He'll return when the moon comes out." Tali finishes with her quietly and Ziva is surprised. It's the first thing Tali has said in days, and it almost brings tears to her eyes. She reaches out, cupping Tali's face and Tali reaches up, covering Ziva's hand with her own. The move catches Ziva off guard, and she has to swallow the lump that forms in her throat. They share a long moment, and Ziva can finally see the part of her sister she had hoped was not lost. But there is fear laced within it all, as though she's scared to let Ziva in.

Cautiously, Tali inches over on the small hospital bed, gingerly rolling on to her side, averting her eyes, but Ziva recognizes the silent invitation. Ziva accepts gratefully, slowly lowering herself to lie behind Tali, conforming to the curve of the younger girls' body. She uses her fingers to comb Tali's hair back off her face, dropping a kiss to her ear. She settles behind her sister, snaking an arm around her waist, taking one of Tali's bandaged wrist in her hand, the place where yet more scares now mar her body.

"Sleep, tateleh. I will again protect you." She promises, nuzzling her nose into Tali's curls, inhaling her scent. "I will stay with you."

Eventually, she feels Tali relax, body going limp in her arms as she finally finds a peaceful slumber.

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A/N: Thank you to all those who reviewed! You make writing worthwhile and I can't express my gratitude. I hope you will take a few seconds to let me know what you thought of this chapter.

The song is a lullaby called 'Sleep Sleep' and if you google 'Hebrew lullaby' and the title you should be able to find a couple of places to listen to it. It's a really pretty song, and you should all be able to imagine Ziva singing it, I hope!


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: To Alli - may we always try to see through the eyes of children, and not to resign ourselves to believing the world is a cold-hearted place. Sometimes, magic comes in the most simple forms.

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Something is trapping her. It's the only concrete thought going through her head as the fog of sleep begins to lift, her senses sluggishly returning. Her immediate reaction is to pull away, but she quickly realizes that she can't easily move. Her arms feel heavy, something is constricting her body and something is draped across her waist. Harsh lights assault her eyes, as she tries desperately to remember where she is. A moment later she sees it's only one light, coming from above her head, while the rest of the room is dimmed, except for a few machines blinking around her. Looking down, it isn't something sinister holding her down, just the blankets that have tucked under her, creating a cocoon of sorts.

'Ziva.' She remembers, the song from a few hours earlier echoing in her ears. It's Ziva's arm that is slipped around her stomach. Now that the instinctive fear has passed, she can register the warm body conforming to hers from behind, notices the olive skinned arm snaking over her abdomen. Ziva's is snoring softly, tickling the back of Tali's neck and sending her hair quivering with each breath. The feeling of having someone so close, without them meaning her some sort of harm, is strange and she can't quite determine what it stirs inside her.

If she's honest, she's surprized Ziva has stayed by her side this long, first through her anger and distain at NCIS, then the days of silence in the interrogation room, and now long hours at the hospital. She can't help but wonder what is in it for her. She says it's because they are sisters, and in the back of her mind Tali can vaguely remember whispered promises of love and protection, but her faith has been lost, and it's become second nature for her to question the motives of everyone around her.

As her mind begins to get hazy, it dawns on her that she's actually let someone this close to her, let her defences down. It's everything she's been trained against for the last fifteen years, and she's slightly disgusted with herself for giving in to weakness so easily. But, already listless as sleep once again claims her, she resolves that it will be okay, at least until the morning.

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On the flight back to DC, Tali is silent, keeping as much distance between herself and Ziva as she can. Although she had been official released by the FBI a day earlier, the doctors had insisted on keeping her until they were sure her stitches would hold and that she wasn't an immediate danger to herself. Because of this delay, they had missed the only seats on a flight carrier for the next few days, and instead of waiting for the next one, Ziva booked them seats on a commercial flight. She didn't want to keep Tali in that prison for any longer than necessary.

Ziva glances at Tali, wanting to take her hand, but she can only guess at what is going through the young woman's mind, and doesn't know if it would be appreciated. Tali has barely spoken to her since their moment in the hospital and Ziva suspects she is angry that she let her vulnerability show, allowed herself to be close to someone in such a way. Regardless of how she is acting now, Ziva knows it was a step forward, however small and she has hope for her sister; has hope that she isn't completely lost to the anger and loathing that has been instilled in her heart.

Tali sits with her body angled away from the older woman, fingers absently picking at a loose thread on the bandage at one of her wrists. She wants to be angry, to be callous and unfeeling like she has been for such a huge part of her life. But slowly, she feels those parts of herself slipping away, like sand through her fingers and no matter how hard she tries to hold on to it, she can no longer summon the same burning hatred she used to carry with her. She feels cracked, cracked in her body, cracked in her soul. Who she has been is slowly leaking away, and seeping into its place is the girl she used to be, so many years it feels like a lifetime ago. And there is nothing she can do to stop it. She can't help but replay the moments in the hospital, being wrapped up in Ziva's warm arms, a feeling of…comfort? Safety? She can't quite be sure, it's been so long since she felt either. Somewhere, deep inside her cracked soul, she yearns to feel it again.

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When they touch down in DC, they don't have to wait for any luggage to be unloaded; Tali doesn't have an belongings and Ziva only has her hastily packed overnight bag which she'd taken as carry-on.

As they hail a cab, Ziva keeps a wary eye on Tali. The younger woman's gaze darts around nervously and she flinches when people pass to close. Ziva is worried, to some extent, that she might take this opportunity to escape, to slip away in the crowd and return to the mission she had originally been sent to America for. But when a cab finally pulls up, Tali slides in next to Ziva without protest.

Ziva unlocks her apartment, opening the door standing aside for Tali to enter. Her apartment isn't large by anyone's standards, but it's not tiny either. The master bedroom is located to the right of the apartment, next to the place's only bathroom. The bathroom is large for an apartment this size, with room for both a shower and a bathtub. Up from the bathroom is a second bedroom, that has been mostly left empty since Ziva moved in. She has never actually dressed it as a guest room, since the only family she thought she had was unlikely to visit her. Converting it to a study seemed pointless, since she is always at work.

The living room and kitchen are divided only by the countertop that juts out from the wall and the change from the deep burgundy carpet to the light grey tiles.

The living room has two couches, both surrounded the small fireplace. It's an old fireplace, where one has to carefully arrange kindling and paper to get it lighted, rather than one of the push-button gas ones. Ziva finds the act of crafting her own fire from scratch soothing, and has never dreamed of up-grading it.

Tali surveys the room cautiously, as if there may be officers hiding, reading to jump out and take her back into custody.

"You can sleep here." Ziva motions to the second bedroom, pushing open the door, inwardly letting out a sigh of relief. In a moment of clarity not long after her call with Gibbs, she had realised she would have nowhere for her sister to sleep when they arrived back in DC. Reluctant to force her to sleep on the couch, she had rung Tony and begged him to pick up a simple single bed and set it up in the spare room. But a smile plays on her lips as she takes in the room. A double bed is against one wall, embellished with an ornate headboard. Next to the bed is a small nightstand, a lamp already set up. On the other side of the room, is a dresser with a mirror hanging above it. It all looks beautiful, even without any person touches and Ziva knows she will have to thank Tony later.

Tali simply glances in the room, nodding absently, not moving from her awkward stance. Ziva sighs softly, taking Tali's hand and leading her to the couch, sitting opposite her.

"I know it doesn't feel like it yet," She murmurs, not letting go of the young woman's hand. "But this is your home now, where you are supposed to be, Tali. With me."

She sees the caution in her sister's brown eyes, and shifts closer to her. "I'm not going to leave you again. I swear, Tateleh." Her voice betrays her and she sees Tali's lip quiver just once, and she pulls the younger woman against her, taking a deep breath as she tries to regain her composure.

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Ziva prepares a simple meal that night, something that has no cultural influences. She doesn't want Tali to think she is pushing too hard for her to slip right back into her old life and accept the culture she had been born into.

Tali refuses to sit at the table with Ziva, instead standing by the bench to eat. Ziva makes no comment, instead lets Tali do whatever she feels most comfortable with. It's not something she wants to force Tali to do, she's knows trying to mould her into someone she isn't won't work and if anything, will only push the girl further away.

While Tali is taking a shower, Ziva places a pair of light shorts and a singlet on the end of Tali's bed. On the dresser she leaves a stack of her clothes that she thinks will be the closest to what Tali is used to: cargo pants and dark tee shirts. She knows they will be ill-fitting, but there isn't much she can do about that at the moment. They will have to get Tali clothes of her own, but Ziva doubts shopping is high on Tali's list of things to do.

Tali enters the room while Ziva is still stacking the clothes, in nothing but the towel wrapped tightly around her. She's had to remove her bandages to shower and the lines on her wrists are angry and red, standing out against her olive skin.

"I can re-wrap those if you'd like." Ziva offers, and the older woman takes Tali's silence as a yes, closing the bedroom behind her as she goes in search of fresh bandages.

When she returns, Tali is dressed in the shorts and singlet, and Ziva settles on the edge of the bed, taking one of Tali's arms and placing it in her lap. The lacerations are only just beginning to heal, and Ziva ever so lightly brushes a finger around the wounds.

"I wish you hadn't done this." Ziva murmurs, gently starting to wrap her wrists with the clean bandages. Tali doesn't say anything, just glances away, focusing on a spot on the wall. "I never thought you could ever do this to yourself, Tali. There was a time…" She trails off, studying Tali's profile. There was a time when Tali had been so innocent that she couldn't understand why someone want to escape the beauty in the world.

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_Gently, Ziva weaves Tali's dark hair into a braid, taking comfort in the slow, repetitive actions, letting her mind go blank for a brief moment. While she works, the girl fiddles with the hem of the satin black dress Ziva has put her in. She herself is in a pair of black dress pants and a formal button down shirt. As Ziva wraps the hair band around the bottom, Tali turns around, looking up at Ziva. _

"_Why do we have to go?" There is no petulance in her voice, unlike when Ari had snorted at her when she'd asked if he was coming._

_Ziva sighs, dropping to her knees in front of her sister, resting her hands on her small shoulders. "Because, tateleh, __Mazhira__was our friend, wasn't she." Tali nods even though it wasn't really a question. "And we want to say goodbye, to honour her life by being there for her."_

"_Will she be there?" _

_Ziva hangs her head, taking a deep breath. She's always wanted to keep Tali sheltered from the horrors that she herself has seen in the world, and she wonders if maybe she's done too good of a job. They've never had any pets, and Tali was too young to remember their mother or wonder why she isn't around so Ziva has never had to have this conversation with her before. _

"_She will be there, Tali, but we won't be able to talk to her. Or rather she won't be able to talk to us. Mazhira is dead." She wants to take a moment to choose her words carefully, but Tali is already opening her mouth to ask a question, so she continues. "When a person dies, their heart stops beating, and they don't breathe in and out any more. They don't need to eat or to go to the bathroom."_

"_Is it like sleeping?" Tali's voice is hesitant and Ziva shakes her head. _

"_It is a little like sleeping, but when you sleep you are still alive. When a person dies, they don't ever wake up. They can't hear or see or smell anymore and they don't feel pain." Her throat tightens a little with the last word, but she doesn't think Tali notices. Regardless, the child is looking at her, the fear evident in her eyes. _

"_Why do people die?" She asks, clearly shaken. "Can I die?" _

_For a moment, Ziva can't breathe. There is nothing more in this life she wants than to protect Tali. If she can't do that, then nothing means anything. But she can't lie to her, so she continues carefully. _

"_Yes, tateleh. You can die, everyone can die. And everyone does die when they get old – it is a part of how the world works."_

"_But Mazhira wasn't old." _

"_That is true. Sometimes people die for other reasons. Some people get sick and sometimes bad people kill other people."_

"_What happened to Mazhira?" Tali is way too inquisitive for her own good, but Ziva can't blame her for wanting to understand. _

"_There are times, where people are in pain, a kind of pain that medicine can't take away. They get lost and afraid, and can't see the good things in life anymore. To them, everything is sad, they can't be happy and they only see the awful things. They get so scared that they think the only way out is to die. It's called suicide, Tali. We can't be mad at her for doing that, because we don't know what she was feeling, what she was going through. I hope it is something that you never have to feel, tateleh, because I will always be here for you, no matter what and I will help you through anything. " _

_Tali doesn't respond for a moment, Ziva can only hope she's explained it in a way her sister has understood. Suddenly, Tali bolts from the room, leaving a stunned Ziva in her wake. Instantly, Ziva panics, assuming that she's terrified the young girl with the information. She's just standing up to go after her, when Tali dashes back in, something cupped protectively in her little hands. _

"_Can we go now?" Tali asks, all the fear and hesitation gone from her voice. Ziva crouches down again, gesturing to Tali's hands. _

"_What have you got there, tateleh?" She asks tentatively, no clue what Tali could have run away to fetch. Delicately, Tali opens her hands, revealing her gold butterfly broach that used to belong to their mother. Ziva had found it after she'd died, and given it to Tali on her fourth birthday. It's stunning, with swirling crystals encrusted in its wings, and a line of rubies down its back. Ziva can't fathom why Tali felt the need to grab this, as while the girl has always admired it from its honoured place on their dresser, she's never expressed any interest in wearing it. _

"_It's for Mazhira. Maybe if we put this with her, it will go with her to Olam Ha-Ba, and she will remember that there are beautiful things in the world, and won't be sad or scared anymore." Her innocent explanation makes Ziva's chest tighten, and tears spring to her eyes. Tali's face shows her tender delight at being able to help their friend, Ziva is blown away by the girl's simple, innocent outlook on life, her view not yet clouded by the jumble of adulthood. Ziva pulls her into a close hug, clutching her close as a tear escapes down her cheek. "Do you think that's a good idea, Ziva?" _

"_Of course, tateleh. I think that is an amazing idea." _

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But her view of the world has long since changed, her childish outlook replaced by a much darker one.

"I know you don't think there is good in the world, Tali. I know where you are right now. But I promised you once that I will always be there for you, and I wasn't lying. I am here for you now, whether you want me to be or not." Ziva squeezes her hand as she finishes the second bandage, not deterred by Tali's disinterest. Ziva leans over, pressing a quick kiss to her sister's temple. "Good night, baby sister."

That night, Ziva doesn't sleep. She wishes she could trust her sister, but she worries Tali might try to sneak away while she can. So she stays awake, listening for any creak that would alert her to anyone moving around. But despite her vigilance, no sounds come through the darkness.

Little does she know, Tali is lying awake in the other room, unable to sleep in this strange place that is so foreign to her.

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A/N: Longer chapter than the last, so I hope you like it! Thank you to all my amazing reviewers, you mean everything to me. I love hearing your opinions on what's going on in the fic, and if you have ideas of what you'd like to see in future chapters, feel free to let me know. I can't promise it'll be included, but you never know! But please, if you've read, review. It only takes a second.


	8. Chapter 8

Tali is already up and pacing the apartment when Ziva finishes her shower. She'd heard the girl leave her room but hadn't been too concerned. She assumes that if Tali wanted to escape she would have done so during the night.

Ziva emerges from her room, finding Tali standing by the window, unmoving. The cargo pants she's wearing are clearly too loose, a belt clichéd tightly around her hips to keep them in place. She has on a tee shirt, arms crossed over her chest and she's found a pair of Ziva's heavy boots.

Ziva, on the other hand, has chosen something much more casual, a style she has discovered since transferring to NCIS. She doesn't want this to be a competition of who was raised tougher or who will stick to her guns. So instead she's wearing a simple forest green blouse with a pair of cream jeans.

She only receives a glance from Tali as she enters, other than that, the girl doesn't move from her position. Ziva prepares an easy breakfast, leaving a plate of toast on the counter, but she doesn't goad Tali to eat. She knows what food is; she will eat if she's hungry. The last thing Ziva wants to do it treat her like an incompetent child, because that is the furthest thing from what she is. She's had to fight for survival and fend for herself for years. She doesn't want to belittle what's she's been through by overseeing her every move.

It pains Ziva to see her sister so distant, but for the moment, there isn't much she can do. She has already turned Tali's world upside-down, told her her life is a lie and brought her to a new place. Tali has to adjust, and Ziva will support whatever she needs – even if that means giving her space.

So she gives it to her. Ziva cleans, irons her clothes and reads a book, giving Tali her space, but keeping close in case the girl needs her.

It's mid-afternoon when Tali begins pacing again, her gentle boots scuffs across the floor becoming a slow melody to Ziva's ears as she goes about her own business. It's because of the shuffle of feet she almost misses the whispered words and she has to take a moment to decide if she's really heard them.

"I don't know what to do here."

When she looks up, Tali is already facing away from her. But Ziva know that the words are true, she can tell from her body language. Tali looks, simply, lost. Like a wild animal that has resigned itself to being caged, but doesn't yet know how to act in confinement.

Ziva stands, heading to her bedroom, pushing the door closed behind her. She emerges a few minutes later, outfit changed into a pair of loose fitting cargo pants and tee shirt. Tali eyes her warily as Ziva moves to hold open the front door to the apartment, gesturing for her to exit. She hesitantly follows Ziva's wordless instructions and Ziva pulls the door locked behind them.

They attract a few stares in their less-than-urban outfits, though Ziva is used to it by now. When she first arrived in America, she hadn't realized how out of place she really was, how much she stood out, for it was all she had really known. Through the years she has adapted though, now sporting an _almost_ all Americanised wardrobe. But old habits die hard, so she still does have most of her old clothes still in her closest, and finds they have come in handy on more than one occasion.

It's only one block from her apartment to the park where she often comes to train, the park where she used to cross paths with Roy Sanders.

Tali seems somewhat shocked by the open space before, after seeing only the dense urban landscape of DC, and looks unsure what to do.

Ziva flicks her a quick smile, a single word falling from her lips. "Run." The older woman takes off at a steady jog, not even glancing back to see if Tali is following her. She picks an easy path, one that twists beneath the trees, flat and simple, a favorite of beginners. A few moments pass before Ziva feels Tali fall into place a step or two behind her.

They continue like that for a short while, until Tali begins to catch up, her boot falls come quicker against the pavement. She overtakes Ziva easily and the older woman lets her; this isn't about winning, it's about Tali finding a piece of herself.

The younger girl takes off with a burst of speed, darting off the pavement and finding her way on to one of the narrow dirt tracks. Ziva keeps pace behind her, hanging back a few yards, letting Tali totally immerse herself in the exertion.

The heavy boots look nearly dangerous in the undergrowth as Tali ploughs forward, but she doesn't trip or stumble. There is a determination in her movements that Ziva recognizes – that maybe if she trains hard enough, runs fast enough, she will be able to escape the memories churning in her head. Ziva knows the feeling, and she can't blame her sister for trying. She can't blame her because she did the exact same thing when she returned from Somalia.

After being held captive, bound and gagged, the act of simply running, of being able to move her legs of her own free will, pick her own direction through the trees, had been blissful. Something she had always taken for granted had become one of the most important things in her life. But there had been another aspect, where if she ran fast enough, the wind rushing past her could erase the memories of those vile men's hands, touching her, torturing her, if only for the briefest of moments.

So she doesn't blame Tali for wanting that same blissful moment of escape, no matter how fleeting. Instead she watches Tali's form as she runs. Even while the girl spirals into headlong panic, spurring herself faster and faster, she moves with purpose, each step calculated. Ziva can't help but be in awe of the strong, determined young woman Tali has become, despite how misguided she may be.

They travel like that close to 4 miles, until eventually Ziva sees Tali begin to falter. She stumbles every so often, her stride not quite so sure. She shows no intention of stopping though and Ziva suspects her mind is probably not yet registering her body's demands.

So, with a burst of speed, Ziva overtakes the younger girl, swerving back on the trail in front of Tali. Gently, she slows her pace, Tali, still operating on instinct, does the same until she returns to a slow, stumbling jog. Her eyes are glazed over and Ziva knows she's reached that blind place of exhaustion, where her brain has stopped thinking, stopped remembering.

With an arm around her shoulders, Ziva leads her through a break in the trees, emerging at the edge of the park, where she hails a cab to get them home. Tali's hot breath comes in deep pants, her body sagged against Ziva's.

While Ziva doesn't usually use the elevator in her building, preferring to take the stairs whenever possible, she is grateful for it today, otherwise she would have struggled to get Tali up the flights of stairs.

Her excessively heavy breathing has subsided on the ride back, reduced to the occasional ragged gasp, but her eyelids are heavy, every so often slipping closed for a brief moment, until Ziva nudges her to keep her awake.

As they get inside, Ziva guides her to the bathroom, sitting her down on the edge of the bathtub she removes the girl's boots and clothes, before turning on the shower. Tali makes no move to get in the shower, though, and Ziva studies her blank face for a long moment. Letting out a sigh, she wearily strips down to her underwear, coaxing Tali to stand and slipping an arm around her waist. Together they step inside the shower, Ziva gingerly seeing if Tali can stand on her own before reaching for the soap.

Even though Ziva got a glimpse in the hospital, she never realized the extent of Tali's scars. There is a raised line across her chest and Ziva traces a finger over it, knowing it is from some sort of blade. More scars of various sizes mar the flat plane of her stomach, down to her thighs. What she must have gone through to get them all makes Ziva's gut churn. She's has her fair share of scars too, but until Somalia, they had been reasonably discrete. She hates the thought of her sister going through something similar to receive hers.

Ziva cups Tali's cheek, gazing into her sister's glassy drown eyes. "I am so sorry this happened to you, Tateleh. If I could have given up anything to protect you, I would have done so in a heartbeat." She whispers in Hebrew, stroking her thumb over her smooth olive skin.

"I know." Tali replies, also in Hebrew, a deep sigh escaping her. Ziva is shocked by the quiet, resigned words, searching Tali's features. Her eyes are still unfocused and Ziva wonders if the words have slipped out of her unconscious, without her even realising she has spoken. Ziva guides her sister's head to her chest, clutching her close as the cool water washes over them. It's only when she feels the warm trails on her cheeks does she realise she's crying.

Once Tali is dry and dressed, Ziva puts her to bed in her own room. She wants nothing more than to cradle Tali in her arms and never let her go, however she knows making Tali stay with her while she's in such a state feels almost like taking advantage of her. And the last thing she wants is Tali waking up disorientated and confused, losing what little trust she has in Ziva. So, reluctantly she places Tali in her own bed, though she leaves the door slightly ajar, should her sister need her at all in the night.

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A/N: I am so sorry that this took so long to update. Real life has been hectic, and I just couldn't find the time. Hopefully (fingers crossed) that has all settled down now, and I can go back to regular updates.

Thank you sooo much to everyone who has stuck with me, and kept reviewing despite my absence. I appreciate you more than you know, and they did encourage me to try to get back to this as soon as I could. Feel free to comment with your anger at me taking so long (because it means you care, and are enjoying this fic! :P)


	9. Chapter 9

It becomes somewhat of a steady routine for them; Tali standing by the window, (slightly less tensely now that she's worked out some of her frustrations) until the afternoon, when they go running.

Each day, Tali pushes herself to exhaustion, Ziva having to get her home, showered and into bed. Some would find it bothersome to have to take such palliative care of a girl so close to the cusps of adulthood. But Ziva knows this is her baby sister, still young and it so many ways, helpless. More than that though, it's the fact that Tali trusts her enough to let herself become vulnerable. Every afternoon, Tali runs herself blind, knowing Ziva will be the one to guide her back to the apartment. And that gesture doesn't go unnoticed on Ziva's part.

Little by little, Tali begins to come around. It's only small things as first; nonetheless, Ziva isn't taking anything for granted. The younger woman starts to come to meals at the same time as Ziva, where she had previously waited until Ziva had finished and vacated the table before claiming her meal. Now, she sits with Ziva to eat, albeit silently.

Ziva muses that they don't really say much of anything. The silence is starting to get to her, but she has not spoken for lengths before. There was a period of time when her life depended on it. So she resolves herself to getting through this. She also knows that Tali needs time to adjust to everything that has happened. Tali is here, in her apartment, alive and breathing - that is more than Ziva ever dared dream. Somehow, wishing for words seems selfish.

Regardless, she is relieved when Tony calls. The week of empty air is just starting to gnaw at the edges of her mind, and she is glad to have someone to talk to, even if it just Tony rambling about the team's latest case.

"And you know I always say it's the butler. So we go to his house to interview him, and he's all jumpy and sweating. Then, out of nowhere, he body-slams McGee backwards off the stoop and goes running down the street. But the guy doesn't notice Gibbs, who was standing by the car. The Boss pulls out his gun and jumps in front of this guy. I've never heard a more girly noise in all my life. He starts begging Gibbs not to shoot him. He was such a wimp, I will never understand how he had the guts to murder anyone."

Ziva lets a small smile cross her lips, comforted by the familiarity of having Tony chat her ear off. It's hard being away from the team, her surrogate family, even though she knows she has blood family sleeping in the next room.

"It sounds exciting, Tony." Her voice is softer than he is used to, can hear the fatigue even over the phone.

"Ziva," Inwardly, he kicks himself for rattling on about a stupid case when she has so much going on at home. He had simply wanted things to be normal between them, for Ziva to jibe him back like she always does. But things are different now, and he should have thought before he opened his mouth. "How have you been?" He asks, his voice serious now. "How has... Tali been?" She can hear the reluctance in his tone, and she knows that he's trying to find a delicate balance between solicitude and prying.

"She is… trying to adjust. As am I."

"She hasn't, you know… tried to hurt you again, or anything, right?" He questions, unable hide his obvious concern.

"No," She assures him, "She hardly speaks to me, and I do not blame her. After what she has been through…"

"I understand," He responds solemnly.

"I know she is there, Tony, I know it. My Tali is still there, under what _they_ turned her into. It will just take some coaxing, that is all. Do not worry. All will be fine."

"Are you trying to reassure me or yourself here, Ziva?"

She does not respond to his question, but she knows that her silence gives him all the answer that he needs.

"I'm still worried about you, Ziva."

"I know, but you do not need to be. I'm fine, it's Tali I am concerned for."

"She'll be okay," Tony promises, "You raised her. She will remember who she can trust. She's already starting to, anyhow, I mean she's still at your apartment, right? She hasn't run away. She knows that you love her."

Ziva sighs, lifting a hand to rub at her temple. "I did not expect it to be this hard." While she did not think that Tali would simply forget her life with Hamas, admittedly, she did not think it would take this long either. Maybe it had been vain to think that Tali would rejoice at having her old life presented to her, to have her big sister back in her life. It stings more than she cares to confess that Tali has yet to accept the changes that have occurred to her, for what Ziva thought was for the better.

"It's the things that you have to fight for that mean the most in the end," Tony says, and she smiles at that.

"That was… surprisingly deep, Tony."

"Hey, I can be deep, when I want to be," He protests. "Hang in there. It will work out in the end, you'll see. If you need me to come over…"

"Thank you for the offer, but the last thing Tali needs right now are more strangers around her." She explains, the rest of her sentence not making it from her lips. _'I am stranger enough already.'_

"I understand, Ziva. Take care." His words are chosen carefully, his simple farewell is ordinary, something often exchanged between colleagues or friends. She can hear the deeper meaning to it though, the warning to be careful. She knows he means physically, however, she suspects he may mean emotionally as well.

"I will. Goodnight, Tony."

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That night, long after she has said goodnight to Tony and turned out the light, Ziva wakes to the sound of bare feet creaking on the floorboards. She rolls over, finding Tali standing in her open doorway. She is backlit by light coming in the kitchen window from the street, so Ziva can't see her face, but she can tell by the girl's posture she isn't angry. She's got her arms wrapped around herself, as if trying to hold herself together. Her shoulders are slumped, as if Ziva had to sum her up in one word, in that moment, it would have been 'defeated'.

Her breath is caught in her chest, still slightly startled at being woken, but in the back of her mind, she wonders if she is still dreaming. She doesn't say a word, scared of scaring Tali or perhaps, her dream, away.

Tali finally speaks, the words impossibly soft and Ziva has to strain her ears to hear. "Ziva…can I stay with you?" Her voice trembles, and Ziva is already pulling back the covers, inviting Tali into her bed. Tali pads over quietly, slipping under the sheets, Ziva wrapping her tightly in the duvet and, consequently, her arms. Tali is wearing only a cotton singlet and flannelette shorts, and Ziva pulls her close against her chest, her warmth permeating though to Ziva. She still feels impossibly thin in her arms, but she seems to have put on a minor amount of weight since she held her in the hospital, her hips a little less prominent, her collarbone a little less sunken.

They lie like that for a few minutes, Tali's head nestled against Ziva's shoulder, until her breathing begins to even out. Ziva hadn't even realized how quick it had really been.

"What is it, Tateleh?" Ziva murmurs, no longer afraid that Tali might be an apparition, now that she is tucked snuggly beside her.

"I…" Tali lets out a shaky sigh, fingers reflexively gripping Ziva's shirt. "I lied." She admits, in English. These words are hard enough to say by themselves, to speak them in her native tongue seems somehow more sinful and she doesn't think she can handle the extra sting. "To you," She elaborates, "when you asked what I had done for Hamas. I told you that I studied intel, and that was true. I took care of certain incidents, yes. But this…this was not my first solo assignment." There is a long pause, and Ziva wishes she could see Tali's face through the darkness, to look into her eyes and know what is going through her head. She can only imagine the haunting pain in those chocolate brown orbs, and in some way, she thinks that is worse.

The words come as nothing more than a puff of warm breath against her chest, and Ziva can almost let herself believe that she imagined them. But this is her baby sister, and nothing she has ever done or could ever do, will make Ziva stop loving her.

"I've killed people."

Ziva tightens her arms around Tali, letting her know it's okay, and that this admittance won't change how much she loves her. "You can tell me, Tali. I will not think less of you. I know this is not the life you would have chosen, if you had been given a choice."

The fingers gripping Ziva's shirt clutch a little tighter, Tali nodding against Ziva. Slowly, she continues. "I was twelve when they sent me on my first mission. I was sent to kill a man undermining our weapons operation."

"Twelve?!" Ziva can't help but gasp, her heart breaking a little bit more than she thought was possible. She doubts even her father would have sent herself on a mission that young. "How did they expect you to overpower a full grown man?" As soon as she asks the question, she regrets it, on some level already knowing the answer.

"They didn't." Tali whispers, her voice haunted by the memory. "A young girl has other…assets that become useful in such an elimination mission." Ziva pulls her impossibly closer at that, trying not to picture a small Tali, barely out of childhood, using her innocent femininity to invade the defences of an arms dealer.

"Men are only too eager to be left alone with a young girl. Once we were alone, it was all too easy to coax him into a position that…benefited me. When I killed him, I was to do it silently and spill no blood. When it was done, I slipped out without any suspicion. It worked perfectly. After that, all my missions were along similar lines. Not all of them were assassinations, though most were. They kept training me during those years, and when I reached an age where I wasn't as instantly appealing to men, I was sent into more combat related situations. I think I was too precious to them to be sent into the line of fire, but they had trained me well, and they wanted me to be utilised, after all. I was sent to assist in keeping the peace at many of our- _their_ training camps."

The correction doesn't go unnoticed by Ziva, and the woman gives her sister's back a reassuring rub. She doesn't have to imagine how hard this is for her, trying to separate herself from the entity that has been her life for so many years. She's done the same thing herself, with Mossad. Their father had groomed her for years in preparation for Mossad and eventually Kidon. Trying to distance herself from that had been harder than she'd expected, despite the contempt she had held for her father. Mossad wasn't just her job, it was who she was. Or so she'd thought. But she'd discovered another side to herself, one she was only slowly beginning to come to know.

"Peace?" She prompts, dragging herself from her own thoughts.

"Sometimes locals would decide they had had enough of us, and try to demand we move on. Such individuals were quickly dealt with." There is a change in her tone that lets Ziva in on the Hamas' definition of 'dealt with'. "Often we were required to defend against militia groups, who either wanted our supplies or wanted us dead, for whatever reason. I've been to at least 5 training camps, seen hundreds of people…hurt even more."

Her voice becomes almost hysterical as the full realization of what she's done hits her, as she finally sees how twisted her view of humanity has been. She begins to cry then. Sobs wrack her body as the fingers clinging to Ziva become almost painful, but the woman doesn't try to pry herself free. Instead she tangles her fingers in Tali's hair, holding her just as tightly. She acts as an anchor, as the fortresses that have kept Tali safe for so many years finally come crashing down.

Ziva presses her nose against Tali's soft curls, whispered words leaving her lips. "I've got you, Tateleh." She doesn't tell her everything is okay, that it's alright, because for the moment, it's not okay. The realizations that came to Ziva slowly, in the months after she started working for NCIS, have dawned on Tali all at once, and Ziva can't even conceive how overwhelming that must be. So, instead she just holds her sister, until slowly her sobs turn to raggedly dragged breaths, eventually returning to soft inaudible breathes. She's cried herself to sleep, Ziva realizes, a trying to stifle the strangled whimper that rises in her throat at the pure anguish she feels for her sister. She wishes she could help Tali, to take her pain and her guilt away, but the most she can do is be there for her, a shoulder to cry on, reassuring arms to hold her, a hand to help her to begin rebuilding her life.

Without jostling her too much, Ziva presses a long kiss to the top of Tali's head, letting her own eyes droop closed, as the pressure of Tali against her chest, breathing gently, warms her heart. She refuses to let sleep claim her though, in case Tali should wake, needing her in the night. So Ziva lays still, listen for the smallest whimper, watching over Tali while she sleeps, like her guardian angel in the darkness.

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A/N: Before I do anything, I have to give the biggest of credits to ForeignMusicLyrics, who wrote practically all the dialogue for the Ziva/Tony phone scene. I was so stuck with it, I didn't think I would ever get it done, but Alli ever so graciously stepped in to help (and by that I mean I begged her until she agreed). Her handle on the other members of the team is astounding and if you don't believe me, you obviously haven't read her latest chapter of All Fall Down. So in summary, thank you times a million to Alli – this chapter honestly wouldn't have been finished without you.

Thank you too, to everyone who reviewed. It means the world to me that you guys are enjoying this story, and have stuck with it this far. I hope you're still enjoying it, and keep reading!


	10. Chapter 10

In the early hours of the morning, she must have fallen asleep, because Ziva stirs to the gentle sensation of her limbs being manipulated. It takes her a moment to realize it's Tali, disentangling herself from Ziva, using a more tender touch that Ziva would have expected from her. She doesn't let Tali know she's awake, letting the girl slip silently from the room. Ziva suspects her sister might want a few minutes to herself, to process everything that happened the night before. She stays in bed for a while longer, enjoying the soft morning light filtering in from behind the curtain, before getting up.

As soon as she steps out of her room, she instantly knows something is wrong. Tali is standing in the middle of the living room, and while she is dressed, Ziva can tell she's about to fall apart. Distress is clearly shinning in her chocolate brown eyes, and she's pulling in strangled, uneven breaths.

"Ziva." Her name comes off Tali's lips sounding more like a tortured moan than anything else. Ziva flashes back to the interrogation room, when she'd pulled Tali into her arms for the first time in fifteen years. She rushes to her sister's side now too, grabbing her shoulder and holding her at arm's length. The girl is trembling, eyes wild, and Ziva can tell she's on the verge of a panic attack.

"Ziva," Her voice cracks, face full of confusion. "What have I done?" She bites her lips to keep a whimper from escaping her, and Ziva has to know she has to do something _now_ or she might just lose her sister all over again.

She grabs Tali's hand, quickly dragging her from the apartment, not even bothering to shut the door behind them. Ziva hears Tali let out an occasional sob as Ziva hurriedly makes their way to the park. Tali grows heavy against her arm, but she doesn't stop until they make it through the entrance, Ziva sitting Tali down on a bench. She does not want Tali cooped up in the apartment, not right now. She's been confined for too much of her life already - she needs to be outside, to see the sky, to feel the crisp spring air against her skin.

Ziva couches in front of Tali's knees, cupping one hand on her chin to lift her hanging head. Her eyes are red and puffy, tear-tracks evident on her cheeks. There is panic in her eyes, but also something else, Ziva can see it in all her features: sorrow.

"What have I done?" She repeats, softer this time.

"You did what you had to to survive, Tali. No one can blame you for that. Ever." Ziva shakes her head. "You were forced to do terrible things, but you got through it."

"I wasn't forced, Ziva. I had choices…I chose to hurt people, innocent people."

"_You_ were innocent, Tali." Ziva stresses, trying to get the girl to meet her gaze, but she manages to keep her eyes averted. It breaks her heart to see her sister harbouring so much self-hatred, and not being able to understand that she too, is a victim.

"Maybe I was, once. But not anymore." Her breath hitches, body sagging forward. "Perhaps I should have tried harder." She whispers, and it takes Ziva a moment to realize what she is referring too. A deep growl escapes her throat.

"Tali!" She snaps, her sharp response causing Tali to lift her head. She knows she shouldn't have scolded her, but Tali even mentioning suicide brings up visceral images, that Ziva loathes to think about. She takes a moment, consciously softening her voice before continuing. "Don't talk like that. I am so blessed to have you back in my life. My baby sister."

A choked cry escapes Tali's throat. "But I'm not! That girl is gone." Tali shrieks, trying to pull away from Ziva. "_I_ am a killer, nothing more. It's all I've known. I've caused so much pain, so much death.." Her voice drops off, and Ziva sees her mind begin to turn in on itself once again. She wants to pull her back, to show her that there is a whole other world, but Tali has seen so much - much more than Ziva wants to imagine, and she can't erase those memories. But perhaps, she can help her see passed them.

Ziva stands, striding to a small tree a few feet away, gently plucking a pink camellia from its stem. As she kneels back in front of Tali, she upturns the girl's hands, slipping the flower into her open palms. Tali's eyebrows knit together, trepidation flashing on her face.

"There is beauty in the world, Tateleh." Ziva lightly cupping Tali's hands in her own. "But right now, you're too frightened, feeling too guilty, to see it. That does not mean it is not there. And I can help you see it again, if you will let me. You had dreams once, Tali. Bright and wonderful dreams. You had such spirit and joy for life. You are still that wonderful sister that I knew." Her voice hardens, eyes turning steely. "But if you truly believe that you are one of them, that killing is what you were intended for, then go." She rocks back on her heels, gesturing her hand to the open park. "If you choose to leave now, I will not follow you, will not track you down or force you back here. You are free to choose as you wish." It's a hard ultimatum, one Ziva hates to condemn her with. It is true though – she knows she can't make Tali stay if she does not want to. As much as it would break Ziva's heart to have her sister leave, she knows she has no more right to hold her against her will than Hamas did.

Tali can't stop staring at the baby pink blossom in her hands. It's mesmerising, how the petals flourish out from the centre, each perfectly formed, each row growing gradually smaller until they bunch around where the pollen patiently awaits the arrival of a bee or butterfly. The petals feel impossibly soft against her skin, which is used to holding only the cold, rough metal of her weapons. She's too scared to move, to breath; it's been so long since she's held something so fragile in her hands and she fears she will damage it, jostle it too hard and its delicate structure will fall apart.

She wonders if she's been handled too brutally, if her structure has broken into so many pieces, that she can never be put back together. That she will never be as she was.

"I don't remember her." Tali's words are raw, and when she lifts her head, tears are once again rolling down her cheeks. Ziva drifts a finger to her face, gingerly brushing them away.

"Oh, Tateleh. You may have forgotten, but I have not. I still remember that girl, who wanted to stand on stage and make the world smile. You are lost, Tali, but you are still that same girl, I believe she is inside of you. Please, let me help you find her." Pausing for a brief moment, and tucks a lock of Tali's hair behind her ear. The no longer flinches at her touch, a massive step within itself. "Do you remember the meaning of the word 'mishpacha'?"

Tali nods slowly, recognition sparking in her red eyes. "It means family." Her voice it raspy, throat coarse from crying.

Ziva scoops up Tali's cheek, holding her confidently. "That's right. We are family. You have always been my sister, no matter who you are, or where you've been. I just want you back in my life." When she finishes, she feels the warm tears blazing trails down her own face, but she does not move to wipe them away. She is not afraid of Tali seeing her cry, for they are not tears of weakness, they are tears of love and of courage and of strength. All of which she will share with Tali, if the girl will let her.

For the first time since she showed up at the hospital, Tali actually _sees_ Ziva. She notices the almost invisible scars on her face, the way her forehead wrinkles when she's upset, and the way her eyes betray the emotion in her heart. There are depths to this woman she never believed existed when they'd been alone in the interrogation room. As Tali stares into her eyes, eyes she thought belonged to a stranger, she begins to see herself. Not her reflection, but a mirror of herself, in the features, yes, but also in life. She is another David girl, just trying to find her way in the world. They may share the same blood, but they also share the same struggles, and now, the same desires. To be safe, to be free, and to be loved.

Tali nods her head, the words tumbling from her lips before she even realizes she's saying them. But once they have left her mouth, she does not want to take them back. "I just want to be your 'tateleh' again."

Her older sister pulls her into her arms, and Tali goes willingly, the flower still cradled in one hand. Unlike the other touches she has tolerated, or accepted, this one she craves. She lets her eyes slide closed, the feeling of being embraced saturating every fibre of her being. It's more astounding than she thinks she can describe, so she doesn't try, instead resting her chin on Ziva's shoulder, sighing as the woman reaches up to stroke her hair.

"I promised you once that I would always be there for you, no matter what. That you could come to me, and I would always help you see the good. This is a much darker place than I wished you to ever be, but I still love you more than anything, and I will guide you through the dark, Tateleh." The words float on warm whispers to her ear, and to her heart, and Tali knows them to be true. She does not remember such a promise being made to her, does not remember much about her previous life at all, but she inexplicably believes that Ziva will help her, will keep her promise.

She trusts her sister.

**‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›**

They do not go running that day, spending most of it on the park bench, Tali nestled in the crook of Ziva's shoulder, her sister's strong arm encircling her. It's the first time in many years that she has felt safe, truly safe. Even when she'd had a rifle cocked and ready against her body and an eagle-eye, she'd never felt completely protected. All it would have taken was one stray bullet to end it all. She finds that her hands are strangely empty though, but she discovers the warmed material of Ziva's shirt is a much better comfort than the cold metal of a weapon. So she clings to it gratefully, slightly astonished that Ziva is still next to her. Regardless of how many times Ziva had reassured her that she loved her no matter what, Tali had still been on edge, fearing that if Ziva had found out what she's really done, she would rescind that love, and leave her. Tali didn't know if she could handle that: having love, a life, her family, so tantalizingly close, only to have it all fall apart. She's had too much instability in her life already.

But Ziva knows now, and she is still here, still holding her broken, tainted body against hers, and whispering words of comfort in her ear. The March air, while warmed by the sun, still carries the hint of something cooler, something distant. Flowers bloom, stretching their colorful faces toward the sun and Tali marvels at their splendor. She has never seen so much natural green in her life, used to only bleached camo against dusty brown backdrops. Ziva tells her it is called 'spring' and Tali thinks it's the most beautiful thing she's ever seen in a long time. Life, flourishing, unchallenged, unharnessed. She wishes she could be like that.

Without noticing, she's been dying a little more each day since being initiated into Hamas, losing small pieces of herself that she thought she could never get back. But for a moment, all her doubts fall away, leaving only a tiny spark of hope. Maybe, just maybe, she can be whole again. She's far from okay, but she's one step closer, regardless of how small that step may be. With Ziva's arm around her, anything feels possible.

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AN: **THANK YOU** to all the people who reviewed the last chapter. There was an amazing amount of you and it really blew me away. I'm love knowing what you guys think of the fic and how Tali and Ziva are progressing. It makes by day to get them. So please, direct your little mouse to the comment box and type away. I'm in need of a few ideas for future chapters, so if you have ANY ideas for something you'd like to see, a line to be dropped in or whatever, FEEL FREE! I'd love to hear them. :D


	11. Chapter 11

Tali stands ridged in the elevator as they make their way up to the team's floor. As Ziva studies Tali, she can't help but be astounded at the change in her demeanour. Gone is the vulnerable girl who has sought comfort in her arms for the past few days, and back is the stoic person she dealt with in the interrogation room. Ziva can see it is just a mask, something she's pulled on to protect herself, to hide her weaknesses from these strangers. Beneath it all, Ziva knows she's nervous.

Inwardly, Ziva can't help but smile. Her sister, a trained killer who has fought in some of the most dangerous places in the world, is worried about meeting the NCIS Director. She understands that it's because Tali does not know this man, has no reason to trust him any more than any of the other men who have passed through her life. She's here, though, because Ziva has promised her that it will be okay, and it doesn't escape Ziva how momentous that step is. Ziva would never do anything to jeopardize Tali in any way, and she understands how McGee put his sister, Sarah, before an investigation in the hopes of protecting her. At the time, she had forgotten what it is like to have her younger sister look up at her with scared eyes, trusting her to make the right decision for them.

She reaches out, silently intertwining her fingers with Tali's. Honestly, she wants to lean over and press a kiss to her temple, but she doesn't want to shatter Tali's carefully assembled façade. So she settles for giving her hand a reassuring squeeze, Tali's eyes flicking to her for only a second before the elevator doors chime open. They drop hands, and Ziva muses at how many fleeting touches have been spoiled by these doors.

Together, they step out, Tali staying tall at Ziva's side. The team is milling about Tony's desk and their eyes settle on them from across the room. Vance is there too, leaning against the divider panel of Tony's desk. She'd called him this morning, to ask him to meet with Tali and when to expect them. He straightens as they approach and Ziva knows he is still wary of Tali, the Hamas operative they remember cussing at them from their interrogation room.

For Ziva, it's strange to think of her like that, an 'operative'. But Ziva knows she's been trained as one, just as she herself has been trained as a Moassad agent and a Kidon assassin. Ziva remembers her from before then, though, before that life claimed her. She has seen firsthand the innocence, care and love the girl once possessed, the qualities she knows are buried deep, but still within her. She knows because Tali is here, standing in front of the team, despite her apprehension. She is standing here, prepared to tell the truth, however hard that might be for her.

"Ziva. Miss David." Vance greets, visibly trying to relax, but he is the Director of NCIS, and this is his house. A house he has to protect, no matter the threat. Ziva promised him that Tali is not the same girl he saw all those weeks ago, and he believes her. That doesn't mean he's not on edge.

He motions to the stairs, stepping back in invitation. "We can talk in my office."

Despite her tough appearance, Tali glances up at Ziva for a moment, seeking some kind of reassurance.

"It's okay, Tateleh. You will be alright. I will be here when you are finished." The first part is spoken in Hebrew, a private word of comfort between sisters. The second, in English, to keep the others from being too curious, or suspicious.

Tali nods, allowing Vance to escort her up to his office. Ziva can't help but be proud of the way Tali strides with her head held high, none of her reservations displayed in her posture. She knows it's a strange thing to be proud of, but their situation is far from normal, and despite circumstances that have forged this young woman, Ziva _is_ proud of her, of the strength she possesses.

Ziva debated with herself about staying with Tali to while she talked to Vance, but resolved that the girl would be more likely to admit to more if she is not worried about her sister hovering over her shoulder. She was, after all, a Hamas operative and is used to working independently. She needs to do this on her own, though Ziva will be there for her in whatever capacity she needs when it is over.

As the pair disappear into Vance's office, Ziva can't help but let out a soft sigh, feeling her shoulders slump. Regardless of the amazing progress Tali has made, it has been a long week.

Before she knows it, there is an arm around her shoulders, giving her a calming one armed hug. She breathes in deeply, soaking in the familiar sent of sawdust mingled with just a hint of old spice. When Gibbs steps back, she smiles at him softly, a silent thanks for a comfort she hadn't realized she needed. The past few days, she's had to be the strong one, the rock holding steady as Tali's world spun out of control. But Ziva's world has been thrown off kilter too, and she sometimes forgets that. Everything she's believed for the past fifteen years has been a lie and she's still not sure if she's grasped the full extent of that. She's pushed all that aside for the moment. Her realisations will come to her slowly, later, once she's helped Tali through her own demons.

"I am alright, Gibbs." She answers his unspoken question. Tony is the only one she has talked with since they arrived back in DC, a few brief calls passing as conversations as he checked in to make sure she was doing okay. While she has emailed McGee a few times, this is the first time they've had the chance to talk face-to-face.

McGee steps closer to her, and something about the familiarity of his face soothes her. She hadn't realized how much she was missing these people, her family, until now. "How is she doing?"

"And what is she doing with Vance?" Tony voices the questions she suspects the rest of the team is wondering. There is no malice to his voice though, and she knows that he is only concerned for her, and if there is something they should know.

"She is…better than she was. So much has changed for her, it is hard to know what she is thinking, what is going through her head. Sometimes I forget that she is a completely different person to the sister I remember, I think sometimes I expect too much of her. We are both adjusting, slowly and I realize she may never be the exact same girl from my memories. She is adjusting too, coming to terms with what she has done. That is why she is here to speak with Vance: to tell him what she knows about the workings of Hamas."

Gibbs simply nods his head, but his eyes convey that she is here for her, should she need to talk. As he moves back behind his desk, Tony and McGee flock forward, inquiring about her time at Gitmo, and Ziva again expresses her gratitude to Tony for what he did to her spare room. After a while, the two have to get back to work, so Ziva starts up her computer, deciding to sort through her backlog of work emails while she waits.

Nearly an hour later, she's doing some old filing for Tony in the almost deserted bullpen. Gibbs is at his desk, letting out the occasional grunt at his computer, but both of her male co-workers are gone. She overheard Tony saying he was going to fetch something from Abby, but she couldn't guess at where McGee would be. She's enjoying the gentle sounds of the office, the normality of it all.

She glances up when there is movement on the landing above her. Tali is coming down the stairs, unescorted. She doesn't look particularly upset, which is a relief to Ziva, though she knows better than to simply believe her sisters projected appearance. Tali would have been reluctant to show her true emotions to a complete stranger, and Ziva has no doubt that she will have been unsettled by the last hour.

While she hears the chime of the elevator, Ziva thinks nothing of it. She assumes it's only Tony, returning from his visit to Abby. When instead the air is filled with the noise of quick foot falls, she looks up to see that it is Tony, jogging to catch up with Tali as she turns the corner at the bottom of the stairs. He reaches out a hand to grab her arm, with the intention of getting her attention, but in his haste he uses too much force, and Ziva watches his fingers sink into the flesh of her arm.

The next moments seem to pass in slow motion, Ziva helpless to stop the scene playing out in front of her. She sees Tali's eyes glaze over, the girl's mind no longer at NCIS, but rather, trapped in the memory of one traumatic event or another, the memories already dredged up after her talk with Vance.

Ziva wants to scream, or to run to Tali's side to remind her that she's safe now. She has no time to do either and the words die on her lips as her feet stay frozen in place, arm still hovering above the cabinet , a file halfway slotted into place.

Tony can't see Tali's face, and is unaware of the flashback he's inadvertently caused, so when Tali spins around, smashing an elbow into the side of his face, he is far from prepared. Ziva's experienced firs hand how fast Tali is, how precisely she delivers her blows, and the girl doesn't give Tony even s split second to recover before she brings her knee up to connect with his side.

She's just about to take another swing, when Gibbs' booming voice rings out, startling Ziva as much as Tali.

"Hey!"

Whatever had kept Ziva frozen releases her then, and she bolts to Tali's side before she can make another move. The girl's eyes are wide and it's clear she has no idea what's going on, though she realizes that booming voice was directed at her. She realizes she's in trouble and Ziva sees her body falter in a moment of indecision at whether or not to keep fighting, or to flee while she has a chance. Ziva uses that second to reach out and cup Tali's face in both her hands, angling the girl's head up so that she is the only thing in her vision.

"Tali, it's okay. It's okay." She coos in a hushed whisper, a thumb absently stroking across her cheekbone. "You're safe here, I promise."

Tali stares at her for a long moment "Ziva?" Whispering her name has become somewhat of a common occurrence for her last couple of days. But this time there is no plea for comfort. This time there is only confusion, confusion as to why Ziva is appearing in whatever horrific nightmare she's trapped in.

"Yes, Tateleh, it's me. You're with me – you are safe." Slowly, recognition seeps into her brown eyes, and she pulls her face away from Ziva's grasp, gazing falling to Tony. Gibbs is helping his up, but he is clutching at his ribs, blood staining his mouth, trickling down one lip. He's wincing, but he's conscious, which Ziva will take as a small blessing, considering the amount of training Tali's had.

"Oh my god." Tali's hands fly to her mouth as comprehension dawns on her. She staggers back, Ziva outstretching an arm to catch her, to guide her close to her own body. "I'm so sorry." She murmurs at Tony, who shakes his head slowly.

"It's fine, really." She tried to manage, but he coughs, more blood stained saliva running down his chin.

This only seems to make Tali more distressed, and she curls into Ziva, powerful sobs shaking her small body. Ziva rests a hand on the back of her head, trying to sooth her.

"I…I didn't mean to." She cried into Ziva's collar. "What have I become?" The last part is nothing more than a distressed whisper, but Ziva lifts her head and the look in her team members' eyes let her know that they have heard it too.

"Ssh, Tateleh. I'm taking you home." She mouths an '_I'm sorry'_ to Tony, who waves her off with a hand. Gibbs nods his agreement, and Ziva shuffled Tali towards the elevator.

‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›

Tali is inconsolable the whole way back to Ziva's apartment. She stays curled up in the passenger seat of Ziva's mini Cooper and Ziva aches to hold her, to comfort her. But she knows the best thing for Tali is to get her home, so she keeps driving, the silence disrupted occasionally disrupted by Tali's quiet sobs.

As they get inside, Tali sinks down on the couch, dropping her head into her hands, Ziva sitting beside her gingerly, not wanting to do anything to set off another bout of crying. But she knows they have to talk about what happened.

"Tali, you know no one blames you for what happened?"

Tali looks up, eyes rimmed with red. "I _attacked_ Tony, Ziva. A federal agent! He was bleeding and hurt and I did that. He did nothing wrong. That could happen again, to anyone. I could hurt more innocent people, Ziva. Don't you get it? I don't belong here."

"Tali, don't speak like that. It was an accident, everyone understands that. You do belong here, with me. You've been through so much; you have to give it time. You can't expect everything to fall into right away. You experienced years of torture, of terror. You were coerced into a war that wasn't yours to fight, Tali. That will take a lot of adjusting. Those memories won't disappear overnight, but they will fade, I promise you. We will get through this, together."

"Ziva, you don't get it!" Tali shakes her head, sending curls flying. "I am an instrument of violence, and even though I am no longer under the command of Hamas, they still control me. They've not only left with the ability, but the appetite to kill. I can't escape that. I don't know if it will ever fade."

Her blunt words shock Ziva, and momentarily, she doesn't know how to respond. "That's not who you are." Ziva finally says, her voice low. "I told you that I remember who you were before all this happened, and I do. You weren't born to kill, Tali. I knew it, and father knew it. It's why he never tried to groom you for Mossad. Appalling circumstances forced to you to adapt to survive, to become something you weren't. But you were a beautiful child, and while you may never be that same girl again, you don't _have_ to be this afraid any more. Your life is yours to take back now, you just have to be strong enough to do it." Ziva squeezes Tali's thigh, letting a calming smile ghost her lips. "But it's not something you have to do alone. You have me now, and you don't have to struggle through this by yourself."

Tali's eyes brim with tears, and Ziva can see the gratitude shinning in those brown eyes as well. Ziva reaches out a hand, tangling her fingers in Tali's hair, and the younger girl collapses in Ziva's lap, weeping into her profusely. Ziva can't help the tears that escape down her own cheeks, as she strokes her fingers through Tali's hair while her sister cries herself to exhaustion once again. When eventually the tears stop, Tali is already asleep, and Ziva slips out from under her seamlessly, tossing up for a moment whether or not to move Tali from the couch to her bed. But she looks so peaceful when she's sleeping, all the tension gone from her face, hair surrounding her like a dark halo. She decides to leave her, draping a blanket over her lightly and leaving the hall light on for the girl, but also so Ziva can see if she starts moving around in the night.

She does wake, a few hours after Ziva's fallen asleep, tossing the blanket off and sleepily ambling into Ziva's room. Her sister is already pulling back the covers, and Tali crawls up the mattress, instinctively seeking the warmth of Ziva's body. She snuggles into her, Ziva's arm snaking around her waist as she quickly drifts back off to sleep, only just feeling the warm press of lips against her forehead before the oblivion claims her.

* * *

A/N: I love you guys so much, and your feedback last chapter was amazing. I will do my best to incorporate all your suggestions! Some of them were really good, and some of them I already had planned for this fic, so I'm glad we're on the same page!

Sorry this chapter is so late. I've had a lot of family troubles and general life hassles. So, this chapter is longer than normal to make up for the fact that I made you all wait. Thank you so much for sticking with me through this, and I hope to have the next chapter up in due time. Because I wanted to get this one up quick-smart, I haven't edited it as thoroughly as usual, so any mistakes are my own, and I appologies for them. Point them out to me if you spot any. Thank you sooo much, you AMAZING READERS!


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